This Is Life
by lc.meester
Summary: Post 1.10 — Takes place after Chuck sees Nate and Blair kissing. What would have happened, if Blair hadn’t slept with Nate and Chuck had apologized to her? Chuck/Blair.
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue **of _This is Life_

"_Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life."__**— **__Leo Buscaglia_

Author: lcmeester aka Lily

Disclaimer: I do not own _Gossip Girl_ or any characters. Gossip Girl belongs to Cecily Ziegesar, Josh Schwartz, Stephanie Savage and the CW.

Summary: Post 1.10 **_—_** Takes place after Chuck sees Nate and Blair kissing. What would have happened, if Blair hadn't slept with Nate and Chuck had apologized to her?

Rating: T / PG**_-_**15

Pairing: Chuck/Blair

A/N **_—_** Nate's father never got arrested, nor did he do anything illegal. A special thanks to Anki for her BETA. _*****_hugs_*****_

**_*_**

"_Even when you think you have your life all mapped out, things happen, that shape your destiny in ways you might never have imagined."_

_Deepak Chopra_

**_*_**

Blair continued kissing Nate as she opened the door. When she pulled him with her into the room, she sensed him giving someone a wink.

"Who was that?" Blair asked breathlessly.

Nate shut the door behind them and locked it, before beginning to unzip her dress.

"Uhm **_-_** just Chuck," Nate went on with undressing her, but she stopped his movements. Somehow she felt, as if she was about to do something she would regret.

"What's wrong?" Nate asked her confused.

"I **_-_** I can't do this, Nate." Blair shook her head and started to dress again, "I have to go".

"Hey, I know you're afraid, but trust me. I will be slow and very gentle so it won't hurt as much," he tried to convince her.

Blair shook her head. "It isn't about that, Nate. I **_-_** I don't feel well. I'll give you a call."

Before Nate could respond, she was already rushing out of the door.

**_--_**

Chuck was walking down the stairs with a familiar aching in his heart. The same feeling that had consumed him, when Blair had walked away from him. When she had left him standing on the dance floor and told him to leave her alone. When he had heard her agreeing to go to Cotillon with his best friend.

He had fucked up. Like always. It happened with all the people who mattered to him, who he cared about.

He had known that Blair would be furious if she ever found out what he had done, but he couldn't help it. He was too afraid to lose her. He had grown up seeing her planning her life together with Nate and deep inside he knew, that Nate was her Prince Charming. The One, who was going to sweep her off her feet and give her her happily ever after.

So when he heard his best friend talking about winning her back, he had started plotting. But, of course Blair had found out about it and had rushed back into Nate's arms.

But he also knew that Blair was the only girl he had ever cared about. He couldn't lose her. Before Blair, before the night after Victrola, he hadn't even thought about the same girl twice. Women were at his feet,and to him they were just something to pass his time. But she had brought out a new side in him. Something he hadn't even known to exist. Just like he had brought out the happy, carefree Blair in her.

He decided to apologize to her, to explain his doing. She would forgive him. She had to.

**_--_**

Blair raced down the street, her head spinning. Had she just turned Nate down, after being told that he loved her? She finally got her happy ending and just threw it away? She didn't know, what was wrong with her. She had hoped, Chuck would come after her and she would have forgiven him, but he hadn't. Instead, Nate had showed up and turned out being her knight in shining armour.

Blair was so lost in her thoughts, that she didn't even notice Chuck shouting her name.

"Blair," Chuck put his hand on her shoulder and turned her around.

Blair glared at him angrily. "Didn't I tell you to**_-_**"

"Blair, just listen," Chuck said earnestly. "I know I shouldn't have done, what I did. I don't know why I did it, but I had no intention to hurt you or ruin your Cotillion." He looked straight into her eyes and their gazes met.

She knew that she had already forgiven him, the minute he had tried to explain, but she decided to let him sweat a little. So she cocked one of her perfectly arched eyebrows, like she had done so many times before, and waited for him to continue.

"Blair, I'm s **_–_** so **_-_** sorry_._" _Shit_. He was stuttering.

She was shocked for a moment.

Chuck wasn't someone who admitted, that he had done something wrong, he had never apologized for anything in his life. He was Chuck Bass after all. And here he was standing, saying those three words no one would have ever thought, he'd be capable of. Well, not exactly _those three words_, but still.

Blair tried to remain impassive. And failed spectacularly. She couldn't help, but smile. He had really apologized to her, had told her that he was sorry. She didn't know, why she felt so touched by a simply apology. She actually felt more, than she had felt when Nate had told her he loved her.

"If you're looking for a way to make it up to me, you can consider while taking me home, Bass." She still needed a lift home and she didn't want to hail a cab. God only knew, if the seats in them were cleaned nowadays.

"So **_-_** friends then?" Chuck saw through her easily and smirked, opening the door to his limo. Of course he wasn't simply going to settle for just being friends with her, but he had to show her that he cared and that she could trust him first, before going any further.

"Friends," Blair nodded and got in.

**_--_**

**Spotted: ****Blair Waldorf getting in a certain Bass' limo. Sure, they had been hanging out while S was in Connecticut, but we thought our Queen was back together with N? Or has she fallen for his best friend? Paradise doesn't look so sweet…**

**You know you love me. ****XOXO, Gossip Girl.**

**_--_**

"So_…_ what are you doing during the holidays?" Blair asked, as the limo started to move.

"Going to Monaco. My father has a business meeting arranged and he wants me to join him." Chuck sighed.

"That optimistic, huh?" Blair grinned.

"If you're interested, then you go with him," he replied carelessly.

"What are you doing at that meeting anyway?" Blair turned her head to look at him.

"Checking out the girls. Bart thinks that Victrola needs a fresh face for the advertisement," Chuck rolled his eyes.

Blair remained silent. Somehow it bothered her, that Chuck would be going away and meet with girls, which was strange, seeing as she should already be used to Chuck banging everything in the field of his vision.

"What **_-_** you're jealous?" Chuck said with a smug grin on his face.

"You wish." Blair retorted and rolled her eyes. How did he manage to see through her so easily?

"As matter of fact I do," Chuck responded, obviously amused. "And by the way, I've already thought of a proper way to show you how sorry I am." He wagged his eyebrows suggestively.

"You're disgusting," Blair huffed.

"Don't act like you don't enjoy it."

Smug bastard. Blair turned away from him to hide the smile, that was again forming on her face. Indeed, she loved bantering back and forth with Chuck. It had been their thing for as long as she could remember.

"And what's your grand plan for the holidays?" Chuck went on with their conversation.

"My father is coming with Roman to New York for a couple of days." Blair said excitedly.

"I thought Roman was his boyfriend?" He looked at her questioningly.

"Exactly my point. He _was _his boyfriend. By the end of the holidays this little dork will be the furthest thing on his mind." She was still furious about how he had managed to steal her father _and_ her mother's husband all at once.

"I love it when you talk dirty, Blair." He shook his head, smirking.

She grinned mischievously. Roman better watch out for her.

**_--_**

To be continued

A/N: I know, that this episode was like ages ago, but this idea popped into my head. This is my first fic and english isn't my native language, so please keep that in mind, while reading. Let me know what you think and tell me if I should continue this story. I don't mind constructive criticism at all **_-_** and reviews would be lovely :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 1 **of _This is Life_

"_Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life."__**— **__Leo Buscaglia_

Author: Lily

Disclaimer: I do not own _Gossip Girl_ or any characters. Gossip Girl belongs to Cecily Ziegesar, Josh Schwartz, Stephanie Savage and the CW.

Summary: Post 1.10 **_—_** Takes place after Chuck sees Nate and Blair kissing. What would have happened, if Blair hadn't slept with Nate and Chuck would have apologized to her?

Rating: T / PG**_-_**15

Pairing: Chuck/Blair

A/N _**—**_ A special thanks to Anki for her BETA. **_*_**hugs**_*_**

**_*_**

"_You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life."_

_Albert Camus_

**_*_**

Blair rushed down the St. Jude's hall, searching for Nate.

She sighed. She was so late for meeting her dad, but she wanted to have a quick talk with him before seeing him at her house tonight.

"Nate!" She finally found him behind his locker.

"Blair, hey." Nate looked at her surprised.

"I'm sorry that I didn't call you. I was just**_-_**" Blair tried to explain_._

"It's okay. Really, don't worry about that," Nate assured her.

Blair sighed again. Nate wouldn't for once, just let her finish her sentences, would he?

"I wanted to make sure everything's okay between us. I mean… we just got back together. I don't want to rush things," Blair recited her rehearsed lines.

"Oh, sure," Nate responded. "I'll see you at your mom's party tonight?"

"That sounds good. Well, I have to go, my dad's arriving soon and I have to get ready," she checked the time. She still had 27 minutes left to get home.

"Okay, see you tonight then." he smiled and shut the door to his locker.

Blair reached to her tiptoes and gave him a quick peck on his cheek, before hasting away.

**_--_**

Chuck stepped out of his limo and scanned the square for Nate. The boy was unbelievable. He had told him to wait the outside the school for him, but Nate was nowhere in sight. He didn't understand, why people would decide to go to school on the last day before holidays. Or ever.

After waiting fifteen minutes he decided to go search for him.

When he passed the doors, someone bumped straight into him. He smirked, when he noticed who it was.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry. I didn't see you_._" Blair bent down to pick up her candy canes. Then she realised, who she had ran into.

She smiled. "Chuck Bass, what on earth are you doing in school? Did one of your little appointments cancel on you?"

"Why, are you jealous again?," he smirked his Chuck Bass smirk. "Because I wouldn't mind taking you up on that offer."

"Do you always have to be so pervy?" Blair rolled her eyes, but smiled slightly at his comment. "I was talking to Nate."

Chuck nodded. They were after all, now a couple. "Didn't you forget something?" he pointed at the canes.

"What? Oh, no. These are for me and my dad, we get them every year. Well, actually they are for my dad and Roman."

"Going for the kill, huh?" Chuck smirked.

"Yes," Blair grinned. He knew her so well. "Uhm… I probably should get going now. I don't want to be late," Blair was unsure, how to say goodbye to him.

"Merry Christmas, Blair." he bent down slightly to place a soft kiss on her cheek.

"Yeah, you too." She blushed and felt her legs turning to jelly, which caused her to stumble slightly. Feeling flustered, she nearly dropped her canes a second time.

Chuck grinned knowingly and gazed after her as she hasted away to hail a cab.

**_--_**

Blair stepped out of the elevator and immediately spotted her Dad.

"Daddy!" she exclaimed, smiling.

"Blair**_-_**bear!"

Harold approached her and wrapped his arms around her. They hugged tightly and she laughed happily.

"Oh, look at you. More beautiful than ever," her father looked at to her proudly. Then he turned around and revealed Roman, who was standing behind him.

"Sweetheart, you remember Roman?"

He hugged her too and she returned the hug less than enthusiastic.

"Blair, you are still perfection. Delicate, yet full with flavor, like a macaroon." Roman handed her a box of macaroons. She faked a smile, knowing that Harold was watching her every move.

Her father added, "It's the perfect opportunity for you two to get to know each other better."

"Absolutely. This is for you," Blair responded and handed her father a candy cane.

"Sweetheart, you remembered. It's our tradition," he told Roman.

"And this is for you," she smiled at Roman and gave him the other cane.

"Merci Blair," he thanked her politely, obviously delighted about her present.

"My pleasure," Blair smiled at him sweetly.

He was so naïve.

**_--_**

Blair was in her room, lying in her bed and covered under the sheets. She could hear the music from downstairs, since her mother had insisted to throw a Christmas party.

The first day with Roman and her father had been a blast. How had he managed to steal her father and still come over like an innocent lamb? She couldn't believe, that her father had already bought the château in Paris, with _Roman_. He hadn't even cared to make sure, if she was okay with it.

She felt so alone, so unloved. The darkness was consuming her and all she wanted, was to run into the bathroom and stick her finger down her throat. She hadn't done it since Harold had left her almost a year ago. (Well, she _had_ done it at Thanksgiving, but that didn't count, since she had been destroyed, right? She hadn't meant to do it anyway.)

Blair could hear Nate's voice asking Dorota, where she was. They had been having a good time together, but then her mother had told her to go upstairs and to change into something 'more delightful'. She should really take Serena as an example, because she always dressed so 'enchantingly and charming'.

The urge became more demanding and finally she gave in and rushed into the bathroom, sitting down in front of the toilet. She opened the lid with trembling fingers.

Suddenly her phone rang. Without looking who it was, she answered it.

"Hey, how was your day? Did you manage to kick Roman's ass back to Paris?"

Chuck. She closed her eyes. Just hearing his voice calmed her. She tried to answer, but it came out as a sob.

"Blair? What's wrong?!" He demanded. She found, that he almost sounded concerned, but then she remembered, who she was talking to and quickly pushed the thought to the back of her mind.

Blair finally managed to clear her throat and answered to his first question. "It was awful."

"What happened?"

"I can't tell you. You'll only laugh about it," Blair responded defensive.

"Come on, Waldorf. My day wasn't any better."

"Why? What happened?," she tried to distract from his earlier question. She was good in changing the subject unnoticed, in order to avoid answers.

"I asked you first," he retorted. Leave it to Chuck to notice it. Stubborn man.

She sighed.

"Fine. My dad already bought the château with Roman. That means there will be no chance to get him back to New York. He also decided to spend the entire day with him, although I suggested having tea with me at _T__he Ca__rlow_. And my mother told me to change because I look absolutely horrible in my dress. Satisfied?"

He chuckled lightly and she was already about to shout at him for being the worst listener ever, when he started to talk.

"Like I said. Can't compare to my day. Bart dragged me to almost every club here and I had to watch every single girl dancing. Horrible. I guess, I will have nightmares for the first time in my entire life. They looked close to Marilyn Manson on Halloween."

A small smile reached her lips.

"So** _- _**you didn't find anyone suiting?" Blair asked.

"Are you kidding me? I don't pay someone money for scaring my guests away."

"And what happened then?"

"My dad wanted to go to the remaining bars, so I refused and it ended with sending me back to the hotel. He also told me how much I disappointed him and that it had been a good decision to not trust me with anything," his voice had become a little sad at the end and although he tried to cover it, she could still hear it.

"Chuck…" she didn't know what to say. He was having thousands of issues himself and yet he had called her and asked for her day.

He quickly decided to change the subject, sensing, that she was trying to console him.

"It's not the end of the world. You can visit him every now and then. I can even lend you the Bass' helicopter," she could hear him chuckle. "And about what Eleanor said… really, Blair? You're a Waldorf. You don't fit the dress, the dress is fitted to fit you."

"Thanks, Chuck." She tried to sound sarcastic, but it came out rather grateful, because actually she felt really honored to hear something like that coming from Chuck. He wasn't someone, who gave a girl much attention (if it didn't come down to bedding them, of course), but she was sure, he had never complimented or cheered up a girl like he had done with her.

"Anytime, Waldorf."

**_--_**

She decided to go downstairs in the same dress. Serena smiled at her brightly and nodded encouragingly.

Then her mother hurried to her side and whispered. "Blair, I told you to**_-_**"

"I like this dress on me, mother." she cutted her off frigidly. She didn't want to change herself into a Serena in order to please her. She wanted to be herself. And her mother would have to accept that.

Without a second glance back at her mother's face, she walked back to Nate.

**_--_**

To be continued

A/N: A huge thanks to everyone who reviewed and added this story to their favorite story and story alert list, it encourages me so much and I really appreciate that. Reviews, as always, would be lovely :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 2** of _This is Life_

"_Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life."__**—** __Leo Buscaglia_

Author: Lily

Disclaimer: I do not own _Gossip Girl_ or any characters. Gossip Girl belongs to Cecily Ziegesar, Josh Schwartz, Stephanie Savage and the CW.

Summary: Post 1.10 _**—**_ Takes place after Chuck sees Nate and Blair kissing. What would have happened, if Blair hadn't slept with Nate and Chuck would have apologized to her?

Rating: T / PG_**-**_15

Pairing: Chuck/Blair

A/N _**—**_ A special thanks to Anki for her BETA. **_*_**hugs**_*_**

**_*_**

"_Things do not change, we change._"

_Henry David Thoreau_

**_*_**

**_--_**

**Good morning, Upper East Siders. Gossip Girl here. And what do I spy with my eye? BFF's ****B and S power shopping at Bendel's. Now that B is with N, they'll surely go to the New Year's event together, but what about S? I don't think Lonely boy got an invitation to this event.**

**You know you love me****. XOXO, Gossip Girl**

**_--_**

Serena sighed in frustration.

"What's Gossip Girl saying now?" Blair asked her, while inspecting a navy blue dress.

"Nothing terribly interesting. She only made sure that the whole world was informed, that I might go to the New Year's event alone."

She tossed her cell into her bag annoyed.

"What, Cabbage Patch refused to go with you?" Blair asked indignantly.

"I wish you would stop calling him that. And, no, he didn't get an invitation," Serena responded.

"You know, Chuck's always available," Blair suggested carefully, ignoring her statement about Dan.

Serena snorted. "Hello, earth to Blair. This is Serena, your best friend. Not some slut from his strip club."

"Victrola is a _burlesque_, not a strip club," Blair corrected her. "And Chuck would never go to a social event with some slut on his arm."

"That's only because they would never get an invitation," Serena stated.

"Chuck isn't that bad, you know. Maybe if you would take your time to get to know him better**_-_**"

"Ew, B. Stop it, please. I'd rather go alone before even considering going with Chuck!"

"Fine. But you are going there, S. Just like you promised."

Serena rolled her eyes.

"Just because _you_ get to go with your Prince Charming_**—**_B?" Serena turned around only to see her best friend chatting with Nate and Chuck.

"S, look who I found!" Blair exclaimed happily.

"Hey guys," Serena ignored Chuck and smiled at Nate.

"Hey Serena, I was wondering** _-_ **are you really going to the event alone?" Nate asked her.

"Yes. No suiting escort." Serena shrugged her shoulders.

"Chuck still has no girl, if that is any help," Blair added innocently.

Chuck looked annoyed and glared at Blair.

Serena threw an angry look at Blair too, who fluttered with her eyelashes.

"No, thanks, Blair. I'm sure there'll be some boy**_-_**"

"I have to disappoint you, Serena. Everyone's taken. And I heard, they don't allow single's entrance."

"_What?_" Blair exclaimed resentfully, obvious insurrection written all over her face.

"Well, then**_-_**"

"_Serena Van Der Woodse__n, you _promised_ me._" Blair warned.

"I can't do anything about it, B." Serena justified.

Then she saw Nate and Blair exchange looks.

"Oh… no, B_**-**_"

"Deadline is today evening, S. We'll all be at the beloved party of your mom's and if you don't have a partner until then, you _will_ go with Chuck." Without letting her the time to discuss this situation further, she went out of the shop.

Serena grunted. Nate just shrugged his shoulders and followed Blair.

Serena glanced at Chuck whose face showed obvious disgust, and something else. Could it be… _longing_?

_Ugh._ Serena rolled her eyes and followed Blair and Nate out of the shop.

**_--_**

Blair and Serena sat at _Nick and Tony's,_ debating, whether Blair should wear the blue _Bendel'_s dress or the red one from _Eleanor Waldorf Designs_ for the huge event, when Serena's phone rang. She excused herself, a wide smile forming on her face.

Blair rolled her eyes. Cabbage Patch, most likely. Her own phone buzzed and she picked up.

"Blair. Please tell me Serena has already found an escort," Chuck's frustrated voice sounded through the phone.

"I really have no idea. But if not, you'll go with her, right?" she could hear Chuck snorting.

"Please?" Her voice had slid into her sugar**_-_**sweet voice, she always used, when she needed a favor.

_God, she c_ould be cute when she wanted to be, he thought. Chuck sighed.

"Fine. For _you_. But tell her to behave." then he hung up.

_For you._ Blair smiled reflexively before noticing it and quickly wiping it off. _What was wrong with her?_

Finally Serena returned to the table.

"Looks like I have to go with Chuck," Serena said with a sigh.

"Don't worry, S. He'll be a gentleman." Blair encouraged her.

_C __**- **__ur going with S. Ok? C u 2nite at the party? __**—**__xo, B_

She waited anxiously for him to reply. Finally her phone buzzed with a new text message.

_U owe me, Waldorf. I__'ll be there. __**—**__CB_

**_--_**

The party was already in high spirits, when Blair arrived. She saw Nate sitting on one table and quickly took a seat next to him. He smiled brightly and kissed her. She wanted to ask him where Chuck was, but got interrupted.

"_I can't believe it." "They really proposed!" "Oh my god."_

Blair looked around confused. "What**_-_**"

"_To the Van Der Bass family!"_

Then she saw Chuck and Serena standing uncomfortably beside each other, Eric in the middle.

Blair's eyes grew wide. "Oh my god."

**--**

Blair didn't get the chance to talk to Serena until nearly all the guests were gone.

"Serena! This is _horrible_, do you know**_-_**"

"B, I'm _so_ glad to see you**_-_**"

"How do you think, are you going to get to the event now, if you can't go with Chuck?" she pressed forward, without listening what Serena had said.

"Uhm…" Serena was astonished. The event hadn't even crossed her mind, but now that she thought about it… she sure couldn't go to it with her stepbrother**_-_**to**_-_**be.

"Please, S. My mom is going to hate me forever, if you're not showing up there in her new dress. She made me promise this," Blair begged her.

Just in this moment Nate made his way through the crowd.

"What's wrong?" he asked Blair confused, when he saw her distressed face.

"Do you have any idea how to get S into the New Year's event, now that Chuck can't go with her?" Blair snapped at him, annoyed at his careless attitude. She couldn't help thinking, that Nate really was brainless. Sometimes.

Nate and Serena looked at each other.

**_--_**

Chuck stood behind his bar, pouring himself a scotch.

He had actually decided to not go to the event on New Year's, seeing as Blair would most likely go with Nate, because he still couldn't stand the sight of them being the perfect couple all over again. But Blair had to asked him to go with Serena, and he couldn't disappoint her.

He had fought hard to pull himself together, when Nate and he had bumped into her and Serena this morning, and when he had seen her with Nate. And now he had to endure a whole event, watching the two of them holding hands, kissing and hugging. Normal couple**_-_**like stuff, he wished, he could do with her.

Sighing, he filled himself another glass.

He didn't want to rush Blair to be with him again, but he already longed to kiss her again, hold her and just be with her. But he had to give her time. She would see how perfect they matched. Or so he hoped.

Hearing a knock on the door, Chuck strolled over and looked through the hole, before opening the door.

"Blair, what are you doing here so late?" Chuck asked, a little worried.

"What, I'm not allowed to visit a friend?" she made her way to the bar and hopped on the stool, waiting for him to pour her a drink.

"I actually wanted to ask you for a favor," she began hesitantly, after taking a sip.

"I figured that much," Chuck scanned her.

"Would you like to… uhm… would it be okay for you if you would go to the New Year's event with me instead of Serena?" she asked, blushing a little.

There was a stunned silence between them. Had she really asked him to go with her? Of course he would like to go with her! But what about Nate? He didn't understand. He was enthralled, but fought hard to mask that, after all, he didn't want to look pathetic in front of Blair.

"If you don't want to, it's okay," Blair said hastily, when he didn't answer, misinterpreting the silence. She hopped of the barstool, trying to hide her disappointment. There was a knot forming in the pit of her stomach and she didn't understand, why her heart was hurting and it was hard to swallow.

"Bye." she went to the door, still trying to swallow the lump, when his hand sneaked around her wrist.

"I'll pick you up at seven?"

_Oh my god._ She felt shivers run up and down her spine and goosebumps forming all over her arms. She didn't even feel this way when Nate touched her, so how was it possible that she felt like this, when Chuck did? It seemed like her entire body was focused on the spot that connected her with him.

Inwardly cursing her treacherous body, she finally managed to nod.

"I'll tell the driver to take you home" Chuck said, not wanting her walking alone in the dark.

She nodded again and turned to leave, wondering, if Chuck had witnessed anything.

**_--_**

**Spotted: B leaving C's suite late ****at night. I wonder if N knows about this? Hm… Does it just seem to me, or are B and C spending a lot of time together lately? I have a feeling, that a big scandal is about to make its way towards the Upper East Side.****  
****And you know who loves scandals?**

**Gossip Girl**

**_--_**

To be continued

A/N: Okay, sorry to Nate**_-_**lovers, but I had so much fun writing B's thought about N. Well, actually _my_ thought, but still. Haha. Nate is just funnier to write this way. I hope you like this chapter. Feedback is very much appreciated, as always :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 3** of _This is Life_

"_Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life."__**—** __Leo Buscaglia_

Author: Lily

Disclaimer: I do not own _Gossip Girl_ or any characters. Gossip Girl belongs to Cecily Ziegesar, Josh Schwartz, Stephanie Savage and the CW.

Summary: Post 1.10 **_—_** Takes place after Chuck sees Nate and Blair kissing. What would have happened, if Blair hadn't slept with Nate and Chuck would have apologized to her?

Rating: T / PG**_-_**15

Pairing: Chuck/Blair

A/N _**—**_ A special thanks to Anki for her BETA. **_*_**hugs**_*_**

**_*_**

"_First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity._"

_George Bernard Shaw_

**_*_**

Blair sat in front of her huge vanity mirror, examining her herself critically. Tonight was the night and everything had to be perfect.

She was wearing a simple, yet stunning navy blue dress from Bendel's. A blue headband was on her head an her curls fell perfectly in place. She had glossed her lips into a light pink pout and had put a subtle make**_-_**up on.

Now she was waiting impatiently for Dorota to announce a visitor.

Finally she heard a knock on her door and Dorota came in.

"Miss Blair, Mister Chuck here for you."

"Thank you, Dorota," she said as she got up from her chair. "How do I look?"

"Beautiful, Miss Blair. Your mama would be very proud."

"Thanks." She hugged her goodbye and checked her appearance a last time in the mirror before going downstairs.

When she walked down the stairs, she felt like she was in one of the old black**_-_**white movies she used to swoon over, when she was younger. The ones where the prince would finally find his princess and they would reunite, kiss in the rain and have their happily ever after.

Blair's eyes immediately spotted Chuck's blue bow**_-_**tie and she had to smile, because they matched and she hadn't even told him what she would wear tonight.

Chuck turned his head when he heard the sound of her heels clicking. His jaw dropped slightly. She looked stunning, beautiful. He didn't know how to form a coherent sentence, so he just stared at her. Her brown curls bounced a little with every step she made. He gazed at her intensely and she had never felt more beautiful than at this very moment.

"You look amazing, Waldorf," he said in awe, when she finally stood in front of him.

"You don't look so bad yourself, Bass." she smiled happily.

"Let's go then, shall we? Nathaniel and Serena are waiting in the limo," He offered her his arm.

She took it and felt a strange tingle in her stomach, almost like… _butterflies_? Walking to the limo, her arms interlocked with Chuck's, her smile unconsciously grew wider.

**_--_**

**Spot****ted: B, S, N and C entering NY's most famous event of the year. Wondering what's so interesting about that? From what I'm seeing, B is escorted by C, and S is going with N. Has a certain Queen swapped ships?**

**XOXO, Gossip Girl**

**_--_**

Blair frowned. Now everyone would be staring at them. And taking pictures, most likely.

"Annoyed about the Gossip Girl post?" Chuck approached her.

Blair stared at him incredulously. "Now everyone is going to think, Nate has chosen Serena over me." _Again_, she finished in her mind.

"Well, then let's give them something more scandalous than that." Chuck extended his arm, grinning roguishly.

Blair cocked her eyebrow sceptically and didn't move.

"Since when did Blair Waldorf become afraid of a little gossip?"

Finally Blair gave in and accepted his outreached hand, letting him lead her to the dance floor. She could already hear the girls from school slander and wanted to reconsider, but Chuck whispered "Let them talk. You're the Queen, show them that."

She placed one hand on his shoulder and linked the other hand with his, while he placed his right hand on her back. Then the music began to play and as they started to move their gazes met. Blair couldn't seem to be able to wipe the smile off her face and decided to let it be.

Chuck just continued to stare at her and at that moment she forgot everything else around her. About Nate, Serena, the girls at school and the recent Gossip Girl post. She just smiled back at Chuck and swayed with him to the music. The moment was perfect. He pulled her closer and she leaned her head on his shoulder.

Closing her eyes, she sighed blissfully.

**_--_**

Serena felt slightly uncomfortable under Nate's piercing gaze. She scanned the crowd for Blair, wondering if she would be angry seeing her dancing with Nate.

She spotted her on the dance floor. With a smiling Chuck. Missing a step, she tripped on Nate's foot, who whined in pain.

"Oh _**- **_sorry, Nate." she said carelessly.

Then she turned around again to make sure she hadn't had hallucinations, and saw the smile on Blair's face, too. She was momentarily shocked, when she realized, that she recognized the look. The kind of dreamy, adoring eyes she had grown up to see on her face, every time she had looked at Nate.

The song finally ended and Serena heaved a sigh of relief, dropping Nate's hands immerdiately.

"Hey Serena, can we talk somewhere quiet?" Nate asked her.

"What? Oh, sure." she followed him outside, a little surprised.

"I just wanted to thank you for the past few days we have been together, they've been amazing."

She smiled at him. The past days had been funny, indeed. It was nice to go shopping with a boy. You could let him carry all your stuff and never even think about overdrawing a certain credit card.

"And I know we both care about Blair and you're with Dan now, but if there's only the slightest chance for us to be together then **_- _**I would take it." he smiled at her and reached out to take her hands in his.

"Nate, you love Blair. You said that to her, like _a week_ ago **_- _**remember?" she stuttered, taken aback by his sudden outburst of feelings and taking a few steps backwards.

"Serena, I love _you_. I have always loved you. I realized that, after being together with you the past few days. I can't always follow my parent's plans, you are the one who showed me this **_-_** you are the most amazing girl I've ever met, I…"

Serena looked away and that was, when she noticed the person standing behind Nate.

"Blair…"

Nate turned around and noticed her too. "Blair**_-_**"

Blair slapped him and even in the dark Serena could see four red welts on his cheek.

Without another word, she left.

**_--_**

Blair ran back to the ballroom, desperately searching for Chuck.

He immediately knew that something was wrong, when he saw her face.

"Excuse me, ladies." he nodded at the other girls politely. They gazed after with disappointed faces, when he walked away.

"Blair, are you okay?" He looked at her worriedly, her face a pure expression of pain.

"Can I stay with you tonight?" Blair looked at him pleadingly.

He was startled, but nodded. She turned around, heading outside to his limo.

He followed her quickly, a line of worry on his forehead.

**_--_**

When they finally sat in the limo, Blair said "I broke up with him."

Chuck looked at her shocked. Her sad eyes burned into his and he took her hand in his, squeezing it lightly.

They sat in silence until Chuck suddenly asked "Why?"

She looked at their intertwined hands and her mind flooded back to her relationship with Nate.

"I don't love him."

She realized, the second she spoke that words, that this was the first time in probably her entire life, she had been honest with herself. It was the truth. She didn't even love Nate anymore, she hadn't loved him for a while now. She just loved the idea of having a perfect life with her Prince Charming. But he wasn't her prince like she had thought. He had never been there for her when she had needed him. Not once.

They entered Chuck's suite and he went to get the wardrobe for the night. He gave her a simple button**-**down shirt and then went to make the bed. She smiled as she watched him and felt a surge of affection for him.

When she came out of the bathroom in his shirt, he was already in the bed. Chuck noticed her, and she again recognized the look on his face. The ones that made her feel beautiful and desired.

"I can sleep on the couch, if I make you feel uncomfortable," he pointed out. She shook her head and climbed on his huge bed. Crawling under the sheets, she nestled on his side. He looked confused, but put an arm around her. She blushed, when she noticed that he was wearing nothing but his boxers. _Thank God_ it was dark.

Then he placed a soft kiss on her forehead and she relaxed into his arms. Blair snuggled deeper into Chuck's warm embrace and breathed out happily.

Somehow she felt safe in his arms and… _loved_.

**_--_**

To be continued

A/N: Aww I really hope you guys like it, I'm so sorry it took so long, I got it back from my beta, when I was already on tour. But thankfully I have got time to go to a internet café :) I'll work on the next chapter when I come back, which will be on Friday or Saturday. I hope it won't take too long, but I presume I will post it at the beginning of the next week. Feedback would be lovely :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 4** of _This is Life_

"_Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life."__**— **__Leo Buscaglia_

Author: Lily

Disclaimer: I do not own _Gossip Girl_ or any characters. Gossip Girl belongs to Cecily Ziegesar, Josh Schwartz, Stephanie Savage and the CW.

Summary: Post 1.10 _**—**_ Takes place after Chuck sees Nate and Blair kissing. What would have happened, if Blair hadn't slept with Nate and Chuck would have apologized to her? Chuck/Blair, of course.

Rating: T / PG_**-**_15

Pairing: Chuck/Blair

A/N _**—**_ A special thanks to Anki for her BETA. **_*_**hugs**_*_**

_*****_

"_You know it's love, when all you want is that person to be happy __**- **__even if you're not part of their happiness."_

_Julia Roberts_

_*****_

In the middle of the night Chuck suddenly woke up. He felt a warm body pressed against his tightly and sighed contentedly. Blair.

Opening his eyes, he saw her smooth leg draped over his and their fingers intertwined on his chest. He turned his body away slightly, so he could look at her face and couldn't help but smile.

Her expression was so soft and beautiful, that he felt his heart swelling by just watching her. He loved watching Blair sleeping. He had loved it since the night after Victrola, when she had fallen asleep and he had carried her into her bed. He hadn't understood then, why he hadn't been able to tear his eyes away from her.

She mumbled a little and clutched his hand even tighter, as if she was sensing him moving away.

His left hand absentmindedly lifted from the side to push a strand behind her ear and he caressed the soft skin on her cheek with his thumb. She sighed happily in her sleep, leaning her head on his chest.

Pulling her closer to him, he was about to fall asleep again, when he heard the sharp knock on his door. _What the hell?_

He groaned and cursed whoever had decided to show up at his suite. Carefully covering Blair in the blanket, he closed the door to his bedroom behind his back and walked over to receive the unsolicited visitor.

He opened the door annoyed and was shocked, when he saw who it was.

"Nathaniel."

_**--**_

Somewhere deep in her mind, Blair noticed the change of the temperature. She shifted uncomfortably. Something was wrong. Fluttering her eyelashes sleepily she reached across the bed and realised, that she was alone. In Chuck's bed.

He was gone.

She felt a horrible feeling creeping into her stomach. He had decided to just leave the bed after she had fallen asleep? Blair sat up slowly and closed her eyes, willing herself not to panic. When she opened them again, her pupils adjusted to the darkness and she slid off the bed.

"Chuck?" she whispered his name.

Blair noticed the dim glimmer of light coming from the door and heard two men talking. Pressing her ears to the door, she tried to catch their lines.

"Nathaniel, what are you doing here so late?" she heard Chuck's sleepy voice. She froze.

Then she heard someone, she supposed it was Nate, dropping on the couch.

"Chuck. It's only a little past ten. I really need your help." she heard Nate saying.

_**--**_

Chuck had been a little puzzled, when Nate had walked in like he had just won something. Wasn't he supposed to be depressed over his break**_-_**up with Blair?

Chuck sighed. "Well, hurry up. I want to go sleep."

"What has gotten into you? Need your beauty rest?" Nate teased him. When he saw Chuck's face, he immediately quieted down.

"Uhm… I need your advice on Serena," Nate quickly got to the point.

"Serena?" Chuck turned around sharply and looked at him confused.

"Yes, I…" Nate looked around uncomfortably. "I told her I loved her at the party."

"You did what?!" Chuck exclaimed acidulously. "What about Blair?"

Nate let out a sigh. "I don't know, man. It's just… Serena's amazing. I've never met anyone like her."

"Blair doesn't know this yet, does she?"

"She heard me when I told Serena this," Nate looked away, not meeting his eyes.

Chuck finally understood. "Well, you couldn't have broken up with Blair, before telling Serena this, could you?"

Nate was caught off guard at Chuck's detesting face and loathing tone. Chuck had never cared about any girl; had never judged him, Nate, for hurting someone, because he didn't have a real relationship himself, this was really… strange.

But whatever. Chuck was his best friend, Nate could tell him anything.

"Well… I was hoping to see first, if Serena has feelings for me too**_-_**"

Chuck was fighting hard to not just go over to Nate and punch him. How dare he to just toy around with Blair like that? He tried to keep his emotions at bay, when he started talking, his voice shaking from anger.

"Nathaniel, you need to… figure out who means more to you. It's not fair to treat Blair like you do, to both of them."

His voice had gone down at the end of the sentence and Nate understood, standing up.

"Thanks, man." he said, still a little stunned, before exiting the suite.

_**--**_

Blair hurried back to the bed, hopping under the sheets. Her heart hammered in her chest and thousands of thoughts were racing through her mind. She tried to calm herself, but couldn't fail but notice, how the corners of her mouth steadily curled upwards.

Had Chuck just supported her cause instead of his best friend's?

Feeling Chuck lying back down in the bed next to her, she pretended to be asleep. After some time she turned around slowly, to see if he was asleep.

"Blair?" He immediately noticed her stirring and turned to her. "How long have you been awake?"

She even didn't try to act like she had just woken, he would notice anyway.

"Long enough," she said and smiled.

He face was unreadable and somehow she had moved up to him and was lying close to him, feeling his warm breath on her face.

"Thank you," she breathed.

"You're welcome," he whispered with a raspy voice.

She was too close. Far too close. Sliding up the last inches that separated them, she lifted her hand and cupped one side of his face in her hand, searching for some sign in his eyes.

Suddenly her cell rang.

Sighing, she moved away from Chuck. Blair propped herself up against the pillows and grabbed her phone, answering it annoyed.

"B, is everything okay?" Serena's voice sounded alarmed.

Blair rolled her eyes. Why had she known exactly that it would be her? "Serena, I'm fine. Don't worry**_-_**"

"Nate has been looking for you anywhere, B. Where are you?"

"S, I told you I'm fine, why is it so important where I am?"

"Blair, did you hear me? _Nate is looking for you._ He wants to tell you something. It's New Year's, I can't believe you forgot that. Do you remember how you always made sure you two are together on New Year's Eve?"

'_They say the way you spend New Year's Eve is the way you'll spend the next year',_ her Dad had told her once. Sure she remembered. Her life had literally insisted of making sure, Nate was on her side on that special day every year ever since that.

"S. Can we talk tomorrow? Please?" Blair didn't have the patience to deal with her right now.

Especially not, when she was thinking about, what would have happened, if Serena hadn't called. Would she have kissed Chuck? Would they be making out at this moment? Not that she would want to make out with him.

_Who are you kidding anymore, B? You'd _love _to…_

_"Fine, my mom's inviting you to brunch tomorrow."_

Blair sighed. "Text me time and address, okay?"

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow then. Happy New Year, B."

"You too, S. Love you. Bye." Blair hung up.

"Who was that?" Chuck asked.

"Serena," Blair tossed the cell back into her purse, "she told me, that Nate's trying to find me."

Chuck stirred uncomfortably. He was struggling between just letting the Nate and Blair thing go, and helping them to get back together _**-**_ even if Nate couldn't make her happy. Because he was sure, that Chuck Bass couldn't either make her happy either. He was only good in hurting the people who were around him. Always the dark villain beside Nate, who just happened to be a knight in shining armor.

"Do you want me to call him? It's still… eleven thirty. He could manage to make it in time," he finally said, clenching his jaw. _Please. Please don't let her say yes,_ he prayed silently.

She smiled and realised how much Chuck had actually done for her since he had apologized after Cotillion. He was already about to get up when he saw her smiling at him, thankfully for calling Nate, but she shook her head.

"Maybe it's just not right, if it doesn't happen on its own." she said.

He looked at her in wonderment. She laid back down beside him and kissed his cheek softly, smiling, when he was caught off guard. He wasn't accustomed to be treated this… tender. But he wasn't going to lie. It felt amazing.

She giggled against his chest and realised, that this was exactly the place where she wanted to be.

_**--**_

"Yes?" Serena answered the incoming call.

"Serena, have you found Blair?" she heard Nate's voice.

"No… she wouldn't tell me where she is."

Nate sighed.

"But my mom's invited you to Brunch tomorrow _**-**_ she said she'll come too."

"Okay, I will be there. I have to tell you something. Both of you."

Nate ended the call and stared at the screen poring.

_**--**_

To be continued

A/N: I'm so sorry it took me so long to update but I've got so much going on right now, I really hope I'll manage to post the next chapter sooner. I wasn't sure about this chapter, I hope it isn't OOC or anything **_-_** Nate lines are really hard for me to write, too, because I really really don't like him **_*_**haha**_*_** **_-_** therefore feedback would be more than appreciated :)

Aww I'm so excited about the GG finale! Anyone else? ;) I think I'll pass out from happiness, when Chuck says 'I love you_' _to Blair :D Can't wait for the episode… though it sucks, that I won't be able to watch it until Tuesday _*****_pouts_*****_ I really want to live in Canada, too… _*****_envies them_*****_


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 5** of _This is Life_

"_Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life."__**— **__Leo Buscaglia_

Author: Lily

Disclaimer: I do not own _Gossip Girl_ or any characters. Gossip Girl belongs to Cecily Ziegesar, Josh Schwartz, Stephanie Savage and the CW.

Summary: Post 1.10 **_—_** Takes place after Chuck sees Nate and Blair kissing. What would have happened, if Blair hadn't slept with Nate and Chuck would have apologized to her?

Rating: T / PG**_-_**15

Pairing: Chuck/Blair

A/N _**—**_ A special thanks to Anki for her BETA. **_*_**hugs**_*_**

_*****_

_"Everyone has beauty, but not everyone sees it."_

_*****_

"B, you're here!" Serena squealed, hugging her tightly.

Of course, Blair always looked amazing, no matter what she wore, but there was something different with her today. Serena couldn't quite put her finger on it, but it reminded her of the weeks before the Cotillion, when Blair would have a permanent smile plastered on her face with no reason.

Maybe it did do Blair good to be away from Nate, she thought contemplative.

"Thanks, S," Blair hugged her back. "Happy New Year," she said to the person standing next to Serena.

Dan looked at her puzzled. "Are you talking with me?"

"Of course, Brooklyn," Blair rolled her eyes. "Do you see anyone else around here?"

"Uhm…" Dan looked at Serena quizzically.

"Don't expect me to be like this during the whole Brunch, Cabbage Patch." Blair smiled sweetly.

For him to leave. Which he did, not bothering to put up much of a fight.

"Blair…"

"I tried, S." Blair batted her eyelashes innocently, even though her smile was quite smug.

Serena sighed.

"You look happier," she noticed.

"Really." Blair scanned the room for Chuck, but he wasn't here yet.

"I mean… you broke up with Nate last night and yet you look like he's just declared his love for you. At least."

"Maybe he and I are just… not right." Blair finished lamely and was thankful to see some guests arriving, "don't you have to go receive them?" she asked, annoyed, that Serena would pick today of all days to be that observant.

"I do." Serena replied, but still stood beside her, not moving an inch. "Blair, about Nate _**-**_ he is…"

"**_-_** madly in love with a girl, who isn't me? I know." Blair cut her off annoyed, but immediately felt sorry, because Serena looked hurt. "Let's just… I don't want to talk about it right now, okay?"

Serena nodded insightfully, deciding she would ask Blair later about it, and went to greet the guests.

_**--**_

"So, have you made your decision?" Chuck inspected Nate carefully.

They were sitting in his limo, on the way to Brunch. Chuck had decided to drop Blair off at her house early in the morning, careful not to let any Gossip Girl spy see them together and then he had gone to pick up Nate for Brunch. He was anxious about what his best friend's resolution was.

"I think I've decided to _**-**_ wait with telling you. I might change my mind… later on."

Chuck shook his head. Last minute decisions? Not a good decision. But again, that was Nate.

_**--**_

Blair huffed annoyed.

Arriving early for brunch had been the worst idea ever. Watching the Van der Woodsen family greeting the arriving guests with Humphrey, her thoughts strayed elsewhere.

To Chuck. Like so often lately.

She sighed. Somehow she felt, like the air around her seemed to shift and she immediately knew, that Chuck had arrived. Her prediction was confirmed, when she turned around and spotted him greeting Lily.

Blair's mien fossilised, when she saw who was with him.

_**--**_

Chuck gazed across the room while talking with Lily, his stepmother_**-**_to_**-**_be, and immediately saw Blair. She was standing alone, looking as ravishing as ever in her ivory cocktail dress, which was strapless, exposing her neckline (making Chuck gulp) and ending right above her knees.

Running his eyes up her body, his eyes met hers and he saw the corner of her mouth quirking up in a smile. He smiled back and even thought he'd seen her eyes brighten, when he noticed, that Nate was looking at her too. His smile froze and he quickly avoided her gaze.

_**--**_

Brunch was awkward since the adults had decided to let the 'kids' have their own table. Now Dan, Serena, Nate, Blair and Chuck were sharing one table and Nate tried to ease the tension, which was hard, considering…

1. He was Nate Archibald.

2. Both Chuck and Blair couldn't stand Dan for longer than it took to throw a haughty look at him.

3. He was being avoided from Blair _and_ Serena.

"So Dan… how's your family doing? I mean… since your mother decided to come back." Serena attempted to start a conversation.

Blair and Chuck rolled their eyes and clattered loudly with their cutlery, while Nate decided to set a good example, sitting up straight and listening to their chatter interestedly.

"Good… really good. But Jenny doesn't get along with her that great, since_**-**_"

"Little J? I've never seen her getting along good with _anyone_ besides Eric." Blair interjected.

"Sad, but true." Chuck smirked and they exchanged self_**-**_satisfied glances.

Dan shot him an icy glare.

Nate cleared his throat loudly and Serena looked around uncomfortably. They fell silent again and Chuck sighed. He finally excused himself, walking into an empty corridor. Blair's eyes followed him.

Back to the table Serena carried on her conversation with Dan undisturbed, relieved that Chuck had left the table.

Nate tried to talk with Blair, but she determinedly stared into another direction. After a while she gave up resigned, seeing as he wouldn't stop bothering her and turned to face him.

"You have something to say to me?" she asked him, bored and annoyed to the bone.

"I… uh," Nate smiled at her a little… could it be _shy_? He attempted to start with a little small talk, but she cut him off.

"I don't want to _chat_ with you Nate; just tell me what you want to so badly." She rolled her eyes. Nate's smile froze, and she fought hard to be in control of that complacent smile that formed on her face at that motion.

"I think… I'm in love with your best friend." Nate answered in a small voice, not meeting her gaze. Both Dan and Serena turned to them, dropping their earlier conversation, baffled.

Dan's jaw dropped slightly, and Blair bit her lip to detain herself from laughing out loud.

"Well, if that's it," she said and stood up, starting to walk away. Coward. He couldn't even muster the courage to look into her face _**-**_ then she stopped and looked back, "Well, it's too bad she's taken." She said, letting her bitch smile spread through her face.

She decided to follow Chuck. Leave it to the three of them talk things out.

_**--**_

Fixing her headband, she knocked on the door to the library, opening it ajar and peeking in. "Can I come in?"

She noticed, how incredibly sexy he looked, standing by the window, hands tucked into his pockets and looking like he was brooding over something. Chuck turned around quickly, a little startled, but he wiped that look off his face and smirked, nodding.

She approached him a little hesitantly. They hadn't had the chance to talk last night, because she had dozed off and they had woken up early in the morning, without talking about their almost_**-**_kiss, so this was the first time they were alone again _**-**_ she was anxious about what would happen.

"Missing me already?" he teased.

She cocked her head to one side, smiling. Twirling a strand of her hair in her fingers, she walked closer to him.

"Maybe."

She caught the shock in his face, but he recovered quickly. He licked his lips and she watched this movement mesmerized.

Looking up to him, his eyes were burning in hers, and his gaze was heated reminding her of the way he had looked at her in his limo the night after Victrola.

She took a shaky breath and moved closer until their foreheads touched. Breathing in the familiar scent, which was so unmistakably Chuck, she leaned in further, never breaking their eye_**-**_contact.

Then she kissed him.

He kissed her back passionately, making her legs turn into jelly. She felt electricity coursing through her entire body and she sighed into his mouth. Her mind went blissfully blank, and it was amazing. She was losing herself in the feeling of his warm lips against hers.

She had missed this. Him.

She felt, as if she was alive again and all those weeks with Nate were just somewhere far, far away. It was astounding, how she still remembered his kisses. Soft lips capturing hers, gentle, but more passion behind them than she had ever experienced.

It was perfect. _He_ was perfect.

_**--**_

"Blair…" He pulled back with difficulty, when she didn't respond.

"What are we doing?" Chuck looked down at her, feeling something harden at the sight of her beautiful face, flushed and lips slightly swollen from his kiss.

She looked up to him, a lust_**-**_filled look in her eyes. "What do you think?" she asked and moved closer again.

He turned his face away, because he couldn't do this right now, even if he wanted it so badly, he couldn't do this without knowing what Nate's decision was and if he was betraying his best friend at this moment.

She let up on him confused. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. It's just_**-**_"

Blair took a few steps backwards. "I'm not Serena?"

"What?" Chuck looked at her confused. What did this have anything to do with Serena?

She scowled at him, tears brimming in her eyes.

"Excuse me for being so imperfect and just being a Waldorf! I get it _**-**_ I will never be as beautiful, as _great_ as Serena Van der Woodsen. If you want, I can send her to you, after she's done with Dan and Nate and the rest of the St. Jude's boys!" She stalked to the door, embarrassed at being rejected and furious about something else.

"Blair _**-**_ wait." Chuck finally got, what this had been about, catching her arm to hold her back. "I don't want you to_**-**_"

"Don't touch me!" she snatched his hand away and with a slam of the door she was away.

_Fuck._

_**--**_

To be continued

A/N: Blair/Dan always makes me smile, they're just too adorable. _*****_te hee_*****_ And don't worry about Chuck and Blair, yes? Feedback would be wonderful! :)

Oh, and I'm still swooning over the season finale _*****_squee_*****_ Aww I'm so happy, I can't wait for the third season **_*_**le sigh_*****_ And do you know, what made me laugh my head off? Nate Archibald: class whore. Can I just say how much I love Gossip Girl?


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 6** of _This is Life_

"_Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life."__**— **__Leo Buscaglia_

Author: Lily

Disclaimer: I do not own _Gossip Girl_ or any characters. Gossip Girl belongs to Cecily Ziegesar, Josh Schwartz, Stephanie Savage and the CW.

Summary: Post 1.10 _**—**_ Takes place after Chuck sees Nate and Blair kissing. What would have happened, if Blair hadn't slept with Nate and Chuck would have apologized to her?

Rating: T / PG_**-**_17

Pairing: Chuck/Blair

A/N _**—**_ A special thanks to Anki for her BETA. **_*_**hugs**_*_**

**_*_**

"_I don't wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be something to someone."_

_Javan_

**_*_**

"Blair!"

He sprinted after her _**-**_ yes, Chuck Bass was actually sprinting _**-**_, but when he almost caught up with her, someone held him back. He tried to free himself, but the grip was too strong.

_**--**_

**Looks like B has brunched enough for today. She was spotted leaving ****the Palace early, with an utterly destroyed face. Wondering, what that was all about. And a little birdy twittered me something very interesting earlier… B was sharing one table with N, but she was ignoring him rather than anything else. What's going on now with this on - and - off couple? I'm seriously getting annoyed here.**

**Oh… I know. Normally I don't gossip about the UES oldies, seeing as I'm not Gossip Granny but you know, that Lily van der Woodsen and big Bart Bass are engaged, yes? Well, ****rumor**** has it, that S and C will move in together soon. **

**Aw brother and sister_-_****bonding. I'm stirred.**

**You know you love me. XOXO Gossip Girl.**

_**--**_

"Charles. I expect you to display good demeanor." Bart said with his usual disappointed and frigid expression. "And not just run after some desperate woman in public."

"It was Blair," Chuck answered. "I have to go after her." He demanded.

"You'll stay right here with your family. She'll be taken care of; it's not like she has no home."

The whole happening had passed unnoticed by Lily, Serena and Eric, who joined them. Lily clapped her hands. "So… then let's go home and pack your stuff, right?"

_**--**_

Blair stepped out of the elevator, tears streaming down her face.

She hadn't cared about Nate choosing Serena and she wouldn't have cared about any other guy preferring her best friend over her, but Chuck?

She had no idea about her feelings anymore. She had thought to be in love with Nate for so long, she hadn't realized it wasn't love. She didn't know what love was anymore.

Did she love Chuck? Or was she just so eager to feel love again, that this simple emotion with Chuck felt so overwhelming?

_Whatever, it doesn't matter now anyway. He doesn't want you._

Blair swallowed hard. It was time to let go of her fantasies about her perfect life. Happy endings were for the Serena van der Woodsens of the world, not for her.

No, there would be no dreaming anymore. If there was something Blair prided herself to be, it was realistic. Despite her dreams of her fairytale**_-_**happy endings, she still had the reality clearly in her head.

_**--**_

It was late evening, and the elevator ride up to Blair's penthouse was making Chuck nervous.

He had spent the entire day family_**-**_bonding with Serena, Eric and Lily, when Bart had excused himself for a business meeting. He was exhausted; he wasn't used to be in so much company. But it was nice to be around Eric and Lily _**-**_ Serena… well, that was another story.

But he one thing hadn't left his mind the whole evening _**-**_ Blair.

Ascending the stairs to her room, he thought over what to say. He knew that she would be furious about him just appearing here, but he was optimistic, she'd be happy about it later.

_Chuck Bass was optimistic._ It sounded so weird.

He still couldn't believe Blair had actually wanted him, Chuck Bass, and not Nate. But he was relieved, that Nate had ended his relationship with her (something, Chuck would never understand). Sure, Serena was beautiful, he supposed. Always happy, cheerful and a laugh on her lips, but compared to Blair she was… shallow. Stuck on that level, that was just girly and immature.

Blair's beauty was unique. She wasn't just the most gorgeous and hottest girl he had ever met, she was witty and funny. Always managing to catch him off**_-_**guard with upper_**-**_handing him with their banters.

"Blair?" He knocked on her door warily.

Walking to her bathroom, he caught her standing in front of the mirror, eyeing herself disaffectedly, and tears in her eyes. At this moment he loathed himself for making her feel this way. He knew, he wasn't entirely to blame for this, but rejecting her must have made her even more unsure about her insecurities.

Then her eyes met his in the mirror and her gaze was cold and calculated.

He gulped, but walked up behind her.

Reaching his arms around her slim waist, he embraced her tightly. She tensed a little and continued to stare at him through the mirror, but her eyes softened a little. Before he could stop himself, he pressed his lips to her shoulder softly.

_**--**_

_Don't forgive him so easily, Blair. You hate him, remember?_

But no matter how often she told herself that, it didn't stop her from relaxing into his hold. It just felt so right to be in his arms, their bodies interlocked so intimately. She had never trusted _any_ other guy that much to let him be this close. Not just physically, but also emotionally.

"How could you ever think I would pick any other girl over you?" Chuck said quietly.

She felt tears welling up in her eyes and didn't respond, just stared at him, silently telling him to carry on.

"No one… absolutely _no_ one has got _anything_ on you **_-_** not even Serena. And do you think I would learn to 'behave myself' just for any girl?"

A small smile reached her lips, but she held it back.

"Why would you do it for me?" She asked him seriously, turning around to face him directly, looking into his dark brown eyes. She drowned in them, and it was something there she had never seen there before… vulnerability.

"Because…" he moved closer, whispering with a raspy voice that sent chills up and down her spine, "you already mean so much to me."

"I do?" Blair pulled back slightly, hope shining in her eyes. Her heart hammered so hard in her chest that she was sure he could hear it.

He smirked and nodded, kissing the tip of her nose.

"You do too, you know." She blushed, burying her head in the crook of his neck.

"Oh, I know." He grinned smugly.

_**--**_

They lay down on her bed, Chuck in his pair of low_**-**_cut boxers and Blair in of her silky nightgowns, neither of them having their guard up, smiling like idiots.

"You're mom isn't going to be angry about me staying with you?"

Blair giggled, her cheeks reddening. "My mom's not at home _**-**_ she's in Paris for some business deal until next month and took Dorota with her."

He stayed silent.

"Chuck?" Blair moved her head up to his, unable to take her eyes off his, watching them turning dark with desire and feeling a prickle in her stomach in response. She slid closer and their mouths met hesitantly, gently…

Blair smiled, knowing that this was the beginning of something irresistible, something _real_ _**-**_ and she knew, that he knew it too _**-**_ it would be different this time. Because they both finally knew, how they felt about each other.

"Are you sure?" He pulled away a little, his voice hoarse and breathless. And in that moment she realized she had never been more sure of anything in her entire life.

"I'm sure about _you_." She said before kissing him harder, pressing herself against him tightly.

His hands were running all over her, warm and insistent, sliding down the back of her neck, her waist, her thigh. She moaned, clutching his hair, and Chuck smiled against her skin, pulling her head down to his for another kiss as her arms pulled his hands closer to her ass.

He smirked at her motion, planting warm and hot kisses down her throat. Her breath hitched and then he flipped them over and was on her _**-**_ on top of her, pushing the hem of her nightgown up, squeezing her thighs lightly.

She sighed, pulling him down to her. Their eyes met again and she smiled softly. Their clothes were pulled off and before she had time to think about, what was happening, he was entering her.

She was sighing his name, over and over again, as her arms sneaked around his neck. A deep groan escaped his throat and he heard small whimpers coming from her with each thrust.

She didn't know how fast it happened, and before she could comprehend what was happening, he had laid her back against the pillows and slid to her side. She turned into him and buried her face into his neck, breathing unevenly. He put his arm around her and placed a lazy kiss on the top of her head, before she drifted off to sleep, a smile on her lips.

_**--**_

To be continued

A/N: I know, I know. This chapter is rated PG_**-**_17 and I'm only fifteen. But it wasn't _that_ PG-17ish, was it? The very first 'mature' scene I have ever written. **_*_**smiles proudly**_*_** Wee! Feedback is lovely and always cheers me up. :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 7** of _This is Life_

"_Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life."__**—** __Leo Buscaglia_

Author: Lily

Disclaimer: I do not own _Gossip Girl_ or any characters. Gossip Girl belongs to Cecily Ziegesar, Josh Schwartz, Stephanie Savage and the CW.

Summary: Post 1.10 _**—**_ Takes place after Chuck sees Nate and Blair kissing. What would have happened, if Blair hadn't slept with Nate and Chuck would have apologized to her?

Rating: T / PG_**-**_15

Pairing: Chuck/Blair

A/N _**—**_ A special thanks to Anki for her BETA. **_*_**hugs**_*_**

**_*_**

"_All people want is someone to listen."_

_Hugh Elliot_

**_*_**

Blair stirred slightly and woke up, still in the familiar embrace of Chuck's arms. She gently wiggled her body around to face him. Curling up closer to him and burying her face into his warm chest, she sighed contentedly, a smile spreading through her face.

Finally, she turned around to face him, his arm still protectively wrapped around her. Much to her surprise, he was still sleeping. She studied his face. The faint crow's feet on the corners of his eyes, the stubble on his cheeks, the dark bangles hanging over his forehead… why had she never noticed it? He was incredibly handsome. In that dangerous 'I shouldn't trust him' kind of way. But she did. More than she would ever trust anyone else, besides Serena.

He grumbled as his eyes opened slowly, adjusting to the lightness. When he saw her brown eyes staring back at him, he couldn't help but smile at her. "Good morning", he said softly.

"Good morning," she smiled back widely as she leaned forward to place a soft kiss on his lips.

"Were you watching me sleep?" he asked teasingly, his famous smirk planted on his face.

"I guess I was." she confessed.

They were silent for minutes, just lying there together. They had always shared silence well, Blair noticed. With Nate it would have been awkward, when they weren't talking, but with Chuck… there were so many things different with Chuck.

Blair had always wondered, how the 'morning_**-**_after' would be with Nate, when she had no make_**-**_up whatsoever on and if she should sneak out the bed and put make_**-**_up on and do her hair before 'waking up' with him.

But with Chuck she didn't even think about, how she looked. She felt beautiful with him. The way he looked at her, the way he treated her, how she always had his whole attention, when he was with her _**-**_ it made her feel like she was the most special person in the world to him.

"Do you want breakfast?" he asked after a while. She nodded and he sat up, kissing her cheek while reaching out for his cell.

**_--_**

They sat on the couch, having breakfast, Blair in her nightgown and Chuck in his boxers. She had never been happier, felt more amazing than right now. The butterflies in her stomach were fluttering full force and led her think about something Chuck had said, not too long ago.

"_I haven't slept, I feel sick, like there's something in my stomach __**-**__fluttering__"_

She looked up to Chuck and was startled, when she noticed, that he had been gazing at her the entire time.

"What?" she asked, grinning like an idiot. Obviously the butterflies in her stomach made her act like a lovesick fool. He took his time with answering her and placed kisses on her forehead, her cheek, her eyelashes and her nose. She giggled.

"Do you know… that you are beautiful?"

Her heart stopped beating for a few moments and then she slid onto lap, placing a soft kiss on his lips. "I know."

Blair and Chuck were in the middle of making out, when her cell vibrated.

"Ignore it," he said hoarsely and went to placing wet kisses along her neck. She moaned in approval and threaded her fingers through his hair. The cell stopped vibrating for a few minutes before going on again.

He groaned.

Blair sighed and turned around, grabbing it from the table and getting up, but he pulled her back onto his lap, wrapping his arms around her. _Just like last night_, she smiled.

"B, why did you turn off cell? I have been so worried about you!"

_Ugh._ Damn Serena for interrupting every single moment she was together with Chuck. Didn't she have anything better to do?

"I'm sorry, S." Blair said annoyed, trying to tell her without words, that she was 'busy'.

"Well, it's okay," Serena babbled on, not even coming close to understanding her hint, "I don't know, if you already heard _**-**_ you left Brunch so quickly yesterday _**-**_ but it's so horrible…"

"What's so horrible **_-_** Nate declaring his love for you, again?" Blair sighed.

"No. I mean, that, too **_-_** but I'll be moving in with Chuck tonight." Serena said in a grossed out tone.

Blair's breath caught, when she felt Chuck's hot fingertips grazing over her thighs, moving up slowly. She turned around and shot him a warning glare and he rolled his eyes, waiting for her to finish the call.

"Serena, I'm busy right now _**-**_ it won't be _that_ bad, believe me." Blair shuddered, when Chuck started to nibble on her earlobe, getting tired of waiting.

"Busy with what? Well, never mind. I actually wanted to ask you to move in with us. I mean… mom told me Eleanor is away for some business deal and that you will be alone at home. We can hang out, go to school together _**-**_ then I can avoid Chuck without having mom telling me to try to 'get to know him better'."

Blair tried to ignore Chuck's wandering hands and at the same time give Serena an appropriate answer. "If you insist on it."

Then she gasped.

"B? What are you doing?!"

She blushed and stood up, leaving Chuck gazing after her longingly.

"Nothing _**-**_ I… saw a rat under my bed _**-**_ ew. I have to hang up, S. I've got to start packing." Blair hung up quickly, closing her eyes and hiding her face with her hands. _Embarrassing_.

"Oh… so I'm a rat now?" Chuck grinned, walking up behind her and put his arms around her.

She wanted to shout at him for making her embarrass herself, but then she smiled, because this was obviously becoming their thing. "What would you have said?" she answered defensively. "Oh, wait, don't answer that question." Blair reconsidered.

He laughed, a throaty laugh that made her stomach tingle and goosebumps appearing all over her body. A laugh that she was sure, no one had ever heard from Chuck Bass. Only her. She continued smiling.

"So… what do you have to start to packing for?" he shook her out of her thoughts.

"You'll see."

He cocked his eyebrows, taking out his cell vibrating cell.

"I think I have to get ready for my dad, he wants to meet me at Victrola. And I still have _my_ stuff to pack," he said slowly, while reading the message. "…because we'll move in with the Van der Woodsens today."

"Then hurry, _hurry_!" Blair chided, pushing him into her bathroom. "Go get ready for Bart."

**_--_**

"Blair, you look _amazing… _for dinner." Serena looked at her in wonderment. "You know, it's just a familydinner, you wouldn't have had to prep so much."

"It's okay, S." Blair smiled. "I love to dress up, you know that." She followed Serena to the dining room. It had taken her longer than usual to get ready, she noticed. _Damn that mother**-**chucker!_

"Blair, beautiful as always." Lily said, looking at her lovingly, and kissed her on both cheeks.

"Lily, it's so good to see you again," Blair smiled brightly. "Eric, you too." They hugged tightly.

"Where are Bart and Chuck?" Serena tapped her feet impatiently, staring at the food.

At that moment the elevator doors opened and Bart appeared, contentment written on his face, followed by Chuck, who was still rapt in the papers he was holding.

"Finally, I'm starving." Serena said and Bart shook both her and Eric's hands before turning to Blair.

"Blair, I hope you will enjoy being here with us for the next weeks."

Blair noticed satisfied from the corners of her eyes, that at her name, Chuck had finally tilted his head up from the papers and was startled to see her.

She just smiled politely at Bart and watched Chuck and Eric greeting each other with a manly hug, while Serena ignored him completely, what made her grin. Then he turned to her and she saw his eyes wandering up and down her figure in awe.

"Chuck," Blair greeted him casually. She batted her eyelashes innocently and he smirked back in response.

"Blair, I didn't know you'd be joining us," Chuck greeted back, placing a small kiss on the back of her hand, and when no one was paying attention to them, he leaned in, whispering into her ear. "You look ravishing."

Blair blushed a little and quickly dropped his hand.

Serena looked at them with an odd face.

"This is so cool; I've always wanted an older brother." Eric grinned at Chuck. "No offense," He looked to Serena, who was rolling her eyes.

"None taken. Believe me. After a few hours you'll take back your words."

"Ah… jealousy. Women," Chuck smirked at Eric. "Testy."

Serena huffed and Eric laughed.

**_--_**

"I can't believe we've got to go to school tomorrow already." Serena said annoyed, after ending her call with Dan. She was removing the make**_-_**up before going to sleep, while Blair was unpacking her stuff.

"Well, that day had to come sometime." Blair answered, putting her clothes into the wardrobe.

"Is there something going on between you two?" Serena asked casually, glancing at Blair from the mirror.

"Between who?"

"You and Chuck, of course." Serena hopped onto the bed, wrapping the sheets around her body. When Blair didn't respond, she continued speaking, trying to draw her out. "I mean… he wasn't able to keep his eyes off of you during the whole dinner _**-**_ and how _you_ were looking at him when he made that joke about Nelly Yuki?"

"It was funny is all." Blair answered defensively.

"B, you're shunning my question."

"S, do you think I wouldn't tell you, if there was something going on?" Blair sighed dramatically.

"I guess you would."

"Exactly," Blair slipped into the bed and switched off the light. _Just not right away. _

"Goodnight, S."

"Goodnight, B." Serena yawned, not realizing, that she had never gotten the answer to her earlier question.

Blair lay on the bed silently, waiting for Serena to fall asleep. Serena had always managed to fall asleep the second her head hit the pillows, something, that had always annoyed Blair to no end, because that would leave her alone with her thoughts, her worries **_-_** whatever was bothering her, making Blair herself unable to fall asleep.

But tonight she sighed in relief, when she heard her best friend's breath even.

She hopped out of the bed silently, closing the door behind her lightly before tapping down the hall to Chuck's room. Chuck. Just the thought of him made her smile again.

He was already in bed, his back turned to her, so that she couldn't see if he was already asleep. Blair kneeled on the bed carefully, hovering over him and looking down to his face. His eyes were closed and his breath was even.

"Chuck, I know you're awake."

His eyes opened instantly and he smirked. "I was already wondering when you'd finally come."

Blair smiled, lying down on top of him, nuzzling her nose into the crook of his neck. "Sorry. It took longer than expected to get Serena into bed; Brooklyn called her and they had a heart_**-**_to_**-**_heart conversation over the phone. But now I'm all yours."

"Lucky me." Chuck smiled and rubbed her arms softly, when he noticed the goose bumps appearing all over her skin. "So she didn't get suspicious about us?"

"Why?" Blair smiled at his hands' ministrations.

"Well, the way you were looking at me during dinner…"

"That was _you_." Blair smiled and heard him chuckle in response.

"Anyway, I'm going to tell Nathaniel tomorrow." Chuck said.

"Do you think he'll be angry with you?" Blair asked worriedly and stifled a yawn.

"Why? I mean… _he_ broke up with _you_. And didn't he say he's in love with oh_**-**_so_**-**_beautiful Serena?"

"Yes," Blair nodded. "Then let's tell them tomorrow. I bet Gossip Girl will be delighted about that new piece of gossip."

Chuck grinned.

"I'm sure of it. Now go get your beauty rest. You're obviously tired." Chuck said when another yawn escaped her pouty lips.

"I'm not!"

Blair yawned again. "Okay, maybe I am."

"Goodnight, Chuck." She leaned down to kiss him and melted into his touch. After some time she finally managed to pull back, smiling down to him, before walking to the door.

He smirked back to her. "Have sweet dreams about me."

Blair turned around, rolling her eyes, but grinning.

"Don't be so smug, Bass"

_**--**_

To be continued

A/N: I'm so sorry I didn't get to reply to your reviews _**-**_ I had absolutely no time, because the end of the school year is coming up and I have to study a lot and not to mention all the concerts :/. And I didn't want to make you wait so long for the next chapter, so…

_A special thanks to_: **Jamie39607** (thank you! this is probably the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me concerning writing! I'll keep that in mind ;)), **loveschair**, **LetMeIn1812** (Me too, and I just _had _to insert the 'Are you sure' line, I'm so glad you liked it :)), **teddy bear**, **underthestarsx** (aw thank you so much, sweetie! your long review made me so happy! :)), **xChuckLovesBlairx**, **tiff**, **xoxoCBxoxo** (thank you for adding this to your favorites, andrea *huggles you*), **sailor**_**_**_**cyanide**, **howlsatthemoon** (thanks so much, I feel so honoured you think that about me :D), **tvrox12**, **Yankeesam32935** (yes, you can let out that _aw_ _**-**_ love ya, Sam!), **Tiffany Tam** (thanks so much, hun! :)), **ana-12** (aw thank you!), **loudmouth411** (you're so welcome _-_ thanks a lot!:)) and **chelle2911 **(thank you for so much for your persistent comments! :)).

Thank you so much, I can't express how much your reviews mean to me! Keep them coming, they make me so happy! :D


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 8** of _This is Life_

"_Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life."**—** Leo Buscaglia_

Author: Lily

Disclaimer: I do not own _Gossip Girl_ or any characters. Gossip Girl belongs to Cecily Ziegesar, Josh Schwartz, Stephanie Savage and the CW.

Summary: Post 1.10 **_—_** Takes place after Chuck sees Nate and Blair kissing. What would have happened, if Blair hadn't slept with Nate and Chuck would have apologized to her?

Rating: T / PG**_-_**15

Pairing: Chuck/Blair

A/N _**—**_ A special thanks to Anki for her BETA. **_*_**hugs**_*_**

**_*_**

_ "Sympathy constitutes friendship; but in love there is a sort of antipathy, or opposing passion.  
Each strives to be the other, and both together make up one whole."_

_Samuel Taylor Coleridge_

**_*_**

"Good morning," Blair walked into the kitchen, yawning.

"Morning," Serena replied, looking up to Blair from her muesli.

"Where are Bart and Lily?"

"There are out early; Sorry, I didn't wake you, I totally forgot to."

"No problem. We're taking Chuck's limo anyway, so we don't have to hurry," Blair took an apple and sat down on the kitchen table.

"What?" she asked when she saw Serena staring at her oddly.

"You were smiling."

"What? When?"

"Just now. You were smiling when you said Chuck's name." Serena repeated.

"I wasn't."

"You _were_."

"No."

"B**_-_**"

"Okay, maybe I was." Blair rolled her eyes.

"So you admit, that there _is_ something going on between you and Chuck?" Serena continued their conversation from last night.

"I never denied it." Blair stated matter**_-_**of**_-_**factly, taking a tiny bite from her apple.

"_What?_" Serena choked, dropping her spoon and looking at her best friend horrified.

"What '_what_'?"

"You and Chuck," Serena declared slowly. "Chuck and you."

"You just said yourself that I was smiling, when I said his name."

"Well, I thought I saw wrong. I thought it was **_-_** I don't know, a _Fata Morgana _maybe."

"_Fata Morganas_ are only in deserts, S."

"Whatever. What about you and Chuck?"

"We're together." Blair announced.

"Since when?" Serena knitted her eyebrows incredulously.

"Since we slept together," Blair said in an end**_-_**of**_-_**this**_-_**conversation**_-_**tone, trying to keep a casual voice. This was so weird.

But Serena kept pressing on. "The night before your 17th birthday party? But**_-_**"

"No, the day before yesterday."

"What **_-_** you _slept_ with him? _Again? B!_" Serena exclaimed resentfully.

Blair looked at her best friend acidulously.

"I mean," Serena added, by the sight of Blair's face, "you didn't have to _sleep_ with him to make Nate jealous."

"I didn't do it to make Nate jealous!" Blair exclaimed disgustedly.

"So you… _like_ him?" Serena asked nervously.

_Do you… like me?_ A smile formed on Blair's face, when she remembered how she had asked Chuck the same question, and how she had told him to murder his butterflies.

"Yes."

Serena sighed. "You really, _really_ like him?"

"Yes, Serena," Blair rolled her eyes again. She seemed to do it often lately, when she was with her. "No matter how often you are going to ask me this question; the answer will stay the same."

"Does he care about you?" Serena asked, still eyeing her doubtingly.

"He has always cared about me, S." Blair sighed, but calming down a little, knowing that Serena was just worried about her. Chuck wasn't the guy people would confide in being faithful and having 'feelings'.

"Not only when you were in boarding school and when he helped me through all this drama with Nate. I can go to him with every problem I have because I know he'll listen to me. And I know he won't judge me."

Serena watched Blair continuing telling her about Chuck, barely conscious of the smile forming on her own face as she saw Blair's eyes lighten up at the thought of him.

"When I'm with him I don't have to act like I'm someone else, because he accepts me for who I am. And when we're together I feel like I'm the most important person in the world, like there's nothing else around us. I always have his whole attention. And it makes me so happy, that I have to smile all the time. I've never felt anything like that with Nate, you know?"

"Yes, well, I can see it," Serena smiled and then took Blair's hands in hers, squeezing it lightly.

"Then I'm happy for you, B."

Blair smiled back, "I'm really happy, S. Really, _really _happy."

They looked at each other for a brief moment before bursting into giggles. Once they started it was hard to stop and they didn't even realize Chuck and Eric coming in the kitchen, until they heard Chuck's voice.

"So Serena has given us her blessing?" Chuck smirked and leaned down to Blair, kissing her softly.

Blair grinned up to him, still giggling. "Yes." She answered before pulling him down for a proper kiss.

"Okay, enough guys," Serena said in a disgusted voice. "Do that in private, please."

Blair broke away from Chuck, peeking to Serena. "Don't go all PG on me, S. Do you remember how you had your first real date with Dan and you two would have nearly gone R in public?" Blair cocked her eyebrow, pert gleaming in her eyes.

Serena huffed. "That's**_-_**"

"True," Blair interrupted her. "You would have thought a certain _vibrating_ had been coming from**_-_**"

"Ew, B! Stop it!" Serena covered her ears with her hands, looking at her warningly, while Eric burst into laughter and Chuck looked at them amused.

"2-0 for Blair, I suppose." Eric said, still laughing.

"Thanks, E." Blair smiled, ruffling his hair.

**_--_**

**A good morning to the UES and especially to my faithful readers. I just received the most lovely pic - thanks to NewYorkerO8! **

**Spotted: C, B, S and E stepping out of C's limo and S doesn't even look annoyed or bothered. In fact she was laughing along with the rest of this lovely quartet. Looks like our Queen is spreading love by moving in with the Van der Bass family.**

**You Know You Love Me.**

**_--_**

"Dan, I missed you so much!" Serena exclaimed happily, hugging him tightly in the middle of the courtyard, before kissing him passionately.

_For the whole world to see_, Blair rolled her eyes.

She smiled, when she saw Nate and Chuck going to the park. Chuck caught her eyes and smirked back at her, making her insides turning into a puddle of goo.

**_--_**

"Do you want one?" Nate offered Chuck a cigarette, but he shook his head. Nate looked at him in surprise, but shrugged his shoulders, lighting up his.

"How are things with Serena?" Chuck asked after a while. "After you confessed your love to her and her boyfriend heard you too."

"Actually Dan was pretty cool." Nate conceded. "We got into talking and I decided to spend some time on my own. I mean… how am I supposed to be together with someone if I can't be alone?"

Nate paused for minutes and they just walked in silence. Then threw the cigarette to the ground and continued. "Now I've sorted everything out."

"Which is?"

"I was just so… obsessed with Serena, I didn't realize she was only a temporarily infatuation. Blair and I have been together for so long **_-_** I think it is her I've been meant to be all along. I just… I really miss her."

Chuck jaw dropped. _What the…?!_

**_--_**

Serena came out of her closet in jeans in a simple shirt.

Throwing a brief look to Blair, who was lying in on the bed, flipping through the _Cosmopolitan_ bored, she started to put on her make-up in front of the mirror.

"What's wrong?" she finally asked.

"Nothing."

Serena sighed, sitting down beside her. "Hey, B. You can tell me."

"I don't know. I think I'm overreacting." Blair had buried her head in her pillow. Serena remained silent, waiting for her to continue.

"But… what if Chuck picks Nate?"

"What?" Serena looked at Blair puzzled. Had she lost her mind?

Blair sighed and sat up.

"What if Chuck decides, that Nate is more important to him than me? I mean they are like brothers, they have known each other forever." Blair said, getting even more hysterical now. "And I'm sure, that they have sworn each other something like… never letting a girl get in between them, I mean _we_ have!" Blair took the pillow and hid her face behind it once more.

"Oh, B. I'm sure it's going to be fine." Serena patted her hair.

"That's all?" Blair raised her head, peeking to her.

"I don't think you need me to say anything else," Serena smiled. "It's just like you told me **_-_** the way he looks at you, gives you his whole attention. I would have never thought that Chuck would look at _any_ girl this way. But it looks like he _really_ likes you."

Blair nodded hesitantly and Serena stood up. "When are you two finally going to tell Nate anyway? It has been a week already since you found out about Nate wanting you back. The longer you wait, the angrier Nate will be, if he finds out **_-_** at both of you."

Blair sighed again. "I don't know. I… on one side I just want this to be out, so I can _finally_ be happy with Chuck. But on the other side I'm afraid of what will happen once we're public. Especially after Nate wants me back again, you know?"

Serena nodded. "Don't worry. I'm sure you two will figure it out. Anyway, do you think you'll survive an evening without me here?"

"Yes, sure. I have Chuck." Blair grinned.

"Ew **_-_** have fun then, I suppose. I'm heading out to**_-_**"

"Brooklyn," Blair finished.

"How do you know?"

"Oh, you're underdressed is all," Blair stated simply.

**_--_**

Blair heard footsteps walking down the hall and excitement cursed through her.

Chuck.

Putting her homework beside, she hopped off the bed and waited a few minutes, to not seem too needy, before almost skipping down to Chuck's room. Not bothering to knock, she just opened the door and saw him coming out of his bathroom, closing the door behind him.

A grin spread through his face, when he saw her.

"How did the business meeting go?" she asked him excitedly.

He embraced her and placed a kiss on her cheek. "It went. Bart reckoned I could've done better."

She buried her nose in his chest. "You can always do better, you know."

He cocked his eyebrow.

Then Blair realised, what he must be thinking. "No… I didn't mean **_-_** ugh, Chuck." She blushed and pushed him away.

"Oh, I know what you meant." He responded teasingly.

She rolled her eyes. "Please."

"Come on, I've got a surprise for you." he pulled her with him, opening the bathroom door.

Her jaw dropped and she gasped for air. His entire bathroom was dark, lit by candles. He had made a bath and rose petals splayed all across the floor. The smell of lavender hung in the air.

A huge smile spread across Blair's face.

"You like?" He asked with a smug grin. Always his smug grin.

"You did this for me?" She looked up to him dreamily, her eyes turning into a soft and warm brown tone.

"Oh, wait. I think Lily is waiting outside…"

Blair glanced at him annoyed, before walking to the tub, but he pulled her back to him and kissed her.

She smiled as he buried his hands in her soft brown curls.

**_--_**

To be continued.

A/N: First of all, thank you so much for your amazing feedback for the last chapter, I was dancing around happily for hours ;) I feel so terrible for not being able to update, but like I said, the end of the school year is coming up and I have had absolutely no time to even get proper sleep. I hope, there are still people out there who are interested in reading this fic.

I'm dedicating this chapter to my lovely friend Sam, who has a lot of terrible things going on in her life right now, which makes me really, really sad. I don't know what to say other than that I love you, I'm thinking of you and wishing you the best, Sam! You are strong and you will make it through this, I know it. *HUGS*

Reviews are lovely and make me happy :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 9** of _This is Life_

"_Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life."**—** Leo Buscaglia_

Author: Lily

Disclaimer: I do not own _Gossip Girl_ or any characters. Gossip Girl belongs to Cecily Ziegesar, Josh Schwartz, Stephanie Savage and the CW.

Summary: Post 1.10 **_—_** Takes place after Chuck sees Nate and Blair kissing. What would have happened, if Blair hadn't slept with Nate and Chuck would have apologized to her?

Rating: T / PG**_-_**15

Pairing: Chuck/Blair

A/N _**—**_ A special thanks to Anki for her BETA. **_*_**hugs**_*_**

**_*_**

"_I don't wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be something to someone."_

_Javan_

**_*_**

"Dan!"

"Serena, come in." He kissed her chastely and closed the door behind her.

"We have the entire Humphrey loft to ourselves?" Serena smiled happily.

"Yes, except for**_-_**"

"Dan, have you seen my cell? I can't find it anywhere!" Jenny walked out of her room. "Oh, hi, Serena," she smiled at her, before continuing to look for her mobile phone.

"No, I haven't." Dan answered his sister and looked at Serena meaningfully. She shrugged her shoulders and followed Dan into his room.

Then Serena noticed the quaint dinner table before her with lighted candles and glimmering silverware. Well, it wasn't exactly a dinner table, more like an ottoman on floor level, that Dan had transformed into a table, with pillows thrown across the rug covered floor to serve as seats.

She looked at him pleasantly surprised.

"Aw Dan, this is so romantic!" Serena clapped her hands, squealing and hugging him.

"I'm happy you like it." Dan smiled back, squeezing her lightly.

"Are you kidding? I absolutely love it!" She turned around and placed a kiss on his lips.

**_--_**

Dan watched Serena picking at her food with her fork listlessly and sighed, putting his cutlery beside. "Look, you haven't said a word, since we're eating. Is… is anything wrong?"

She shook her head, looking up to him. "No, it's just… I have a lot on my mind right now."

"Well, let's try this; why don't you tell me what's on your mind? Then it can be on our minds. And our minds can worry about what's on your mind… together."

"I have no idea what you just said," Serena looked at him confused, "But I'm worried about Blair."

Dan groaned.

"What's wrong with her? Is it about Nate? Oh… don't tell me, she is trying to win him back?"

"Actually quite the opposite."

"What?"

"I… I can't tell you, Dan. Blair is going to be furious at me, when she finds out that you know about this, too."

"Come on, Serena. Who would I tell? And who would believe me, anyway?"

**_--_**

Jenny sighed, feeling disappointed. Gossip Girl didn't even care to blog about her. Even Dan was on her site now, thanks to Serena.

She paused on her way to her room, when she heard Serena talking with Dan about Blair.

"Thanks, Dan. I really appreciate your help. Blair is so worried about destroying Chuck and Nate's friendship. And I know, how much her relationship with Chuck means to her."

"Don't worry, they'll make it. They are Chuck and Blair. Wow… I still can't believe they are really together. Watch out, world." She heard Dan letting out a laugh.

Jenny froze.

_Chuck and Blair?!_

**_--_**

"Mhm…"

Chuck planted soft kisses on Blair's exposed neck, while she paddled in the water happily.

"How did you know, that I like lavender and not vanilla?" Blair smiled, leaning back into his embrace and cocking her head to one side to give him better access.

"I'm Chuck Bass," he smirked and turned her around, so that she was straddling him.

"Oh right, I forgot." Blair grinned, moving forward to kiss his lips. After a long, heated moment, they both broke away, breathing hard.

"When is Serena coming back?" Chuck asked.

"I don't care," she whispered, before wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her lips to his again. Her fingers started playing with his neck hair.

"I don't think, Serena would approve of coming home to an empty room," he explained.

Blair sighed and leaned back to grab her phone, checking the time.

"Ten minutes." She answered, pouting.

"You look cute, when you do that." Chuck grinned, placing a soft kiss on her shoulder, "Come on, and let's get you dry."

She sighed and stepped out of the tub. Chuck followed her, wrapping a towel around her slim body.

"Are we taking the limo to school tomorrow?" Blair asked.

"Yes, with Serena and Eric."

"How romantic." she replied sarcastically and slipped into one of her silky nightgowns, drying off her hair with the towel Chuck handed her.

"If you don't mind Serena and Eric watching us**_-_**"

"Gross, Chuck! Don't you dare finish that sentence!" Blair exclaimed indignantly and threw the comb in his direction. He laughed and ducked away easily.

"B? Where are you?" Serena's voice came from the hallway.

Blair sighed, handing him the wet towels. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow, then."

She kissed him goodnight and exited his room.

Chuck looked after her, barely conscious of the smile plastered on his face.

**_--_**

_Two weeks later…_

"Blair…"

Blair shut the door to her locker, just to see the face of a certain ex-boyfriend of hers in front of her.

_Great._ Her day couldn't get any better, could it?

"What do you want, Nate?" Blair asked him dismissively, balancing the books in her left hand, while searching for her cell with her right hand.

"I was wondering, if you wanted to hang out with me after school? I mean… you seemed pretty busy lately and I thought it might do you good to just… relax and talk to someone. About your problems maybe…?"

_Except you don't know _you_ are the problem, _Blair thought annoyed.

_S **-** emergency!! need u_ now_, at my locker. **-** B_

"No, I really don't have time for something like that today, Nate." Blair replied, faking an apologetic look.

"Then maybe tomorrow? I…," Nate sighed. "I've really missed you lately." He finished, looking at her sadly, his blue eyes boring into hers. The same blue eyes she had fallen in love with, when she had first met him at the age of six. It was then that she had decided, that Nate had to be her boyfriend.

But she wasn't six anymore and these eyes… they were beautiful and swoon**_-_**over**_-_**ish, but they didn't have the warmth in them, the softness, when they met hers. They weren't… dark enough.

"Nate, I've told you already **_-_** you've made your decision about us, and so did I."

"But I _love_ you." Nate said, his eyes pleading.

_I love you._ Blair's heart hammered in her chest. What would she have done to hear those words a month ago, to have him looking at her like this, tears in his eyes and pleading her to love him back.

"I don't," Blair replied simply. _Not anymore._ "And don't you think those words sound a little bit worn out coming out of your mouth?"

Nate sighed. "Serena was a mistake, I'm _sorry_, I**_-_**"

"B! I need you now, it's an emergency!" Serena seemingly appeared out of nowhere, grabbing her arm. "Sorry Nate!" Serena added with an excusing look, pushing Blair away from him and towards the exit.

_Finally_, Blair rolled her eyes.

"Serena, what took you so long?"

"Sorry, sorry. Dan and I were hanging out and I didn't realize I got a message."

They made their way through the students to the steps.

"So Chuck still hasn't told Nate?" Serena asked.

"He wanted to, really. He tried **_-_** everyday! But it never seems like the right moment," Blair huffed, pushing some younger students aside. "Why is it that Nate finally realizes he loves me, when I love someone else?"

She sat down on the bottom step.

Serena paused, looking up to her open**_-_**mouthed. "What?"

Blair gasped when she realized, what she had just said. "Did I just**_-_**"

"You said you loved Chuck, yes." Serena nodded. "Oh my god, you said you loved Chuck!" she repeated after a moment of amazement, squealing in excitement.

"Pssh!" Blair chided her best friend. "Do you want anyone to find out about us?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, but that's just**_-_**" Serena squealed again, clapping her hands. "You have to tell him, B!"

"Oh no, no, no. _No._" Blair shook her head. "And don't you dare say a word to him either." She shot Serena a warning glare.

"Fine, fine." The blonde replied, taking a sip from her coffee. "But you _are_ going to tell him, right?" She continued eagerly.

"I don't know…"_Am I going to? _Blair remained silent for awhile.

"Why not?" Serena eyed her best friend confused.

"What if he doesn't feel the same way about me and doesn't say it back? Or if he says it back, just not to hurt me?" Blair's insecurities were back in a second.

"Blair…"

At that moment they spotted Katy, Izabel, Penelope and Hazel making their way up to them, followed by Jenny.

"Hey, B." They sat down beside her, continuing their chatter.

"Little J, could you do me a favour?" Blair smiled at Jenny sweetly.

"Yes, sure." The blond looked at her surprised.

"Move down a couple of steps."

Jenny hesitated for a moment before getting up, taking her bag, and sitting down a couple of steps below.

Blair smiled in satisfaction, without giving Jenny much more attention, and took the fruit box out of her bag.

**_--_**

The bell rang and Blair grabbed her bag, things already packed in, before skipping down the steps to find Chuck's limo already waiting for her outside of the school building.

She thanked Arthur, who opened the door for her and hopped in.

"…and the papers are as good as signed." Chuck said, holding his cell in his hand, and signalling her, that he was talking to Bart.

Blair nodded, and the limo started to move.

Chuck finished the call and bent over to her, kissing her softly.

She slid up to him and he pulled her into his lap. And suddenly she felt those three words on the tip of her tongue.

"Chuck?" she moved back a little, looking down to his face.

"Huh?"

"I…" she started, her heart hammering excitedly in her chest. "I…"

He looked up to her confused.

"I just had lunch and I have puke breath." She finished in one breath.

He smirked before pulling her back down to her.

_Great, _she thought.

**_--_**

To be continued

A/N: So, I decided not to go on hiatus :P **_-_** thank the lovely people out there, who left me such amazing reviews and sent me PMs :).

**mad as cassie**, **Noirreigne**, **nostalgiakills**, **chelle2911**, **tvrox12**, **E.F.B.**, **xChuckLovesBlairx**, **xoxoTwilight296**, **Madeleinex**, **underthestarsx**, **xo -g**, **Yankeesam32935**, **Astoria_Potter**, **omgsweetx3**, **ilovewaldass06**, **Butterflies In My Stomach**, **loveschair**, **tiff**, **BrittyKay247**, **ana-12** and **chair3** **_-_** *hugsyoualltightly* :)

I have been on vacation until today, so I am sorry for the delay. Oh, and it looks like we will get more of Nate whoring around next season. The hot, blond model is for him. ;) Have you seen those lovely de lovely Chuck**_-_**and**_-_**Blair**_-_**holding**_-_**hands pics yet? Aww, they are so cute!

Reviews would be amazing, as always. :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter ****10** of _This is Life_

"_Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life."__**—** __Leo Buscaglia_

Author: Lily

Disclaimer: I do not own _Gossip Girl_ or any characters. Gossip Girl belongs to Cecily Ziegesar, Josh Schwartz, Stephanie Savage and the CW.

Summary: Post 1.10 _**—**_ Takes place after Chuck sees Nate and Blair kissing. What would have happened, if Blair hadn't slept with Nate and Chuck would have apologized to her?

Rating: T / PG_**-**_15

Pairing: Chuck/Blair

A/N _**—**_ A special thanks to Anki for her BETA. **_*_**hugs**_*_**

_*****_

"_The best thing to hold onto in life is each other."_

_Audrey Hepburn_

_*****_

Jenny sat on the park bench, waiting for the bus home, when she heard someone approaching her from behind. Turning around swiftly she saw Penelope, followed by Isabel and Katy looking down at her.

"Penelope, Katy, Iz… what are you all doing here?" Jenny asked confused.

"I never thought I would say this," Penelope answered irritated, approaching her, "but… we need your help."

Jenny cocked her eyebrow.

"Blair has been acting… _strange_ lately and we were thinking about maybe…" Penelope paused for a second, throwing a look at Katy and Isabel, before continuing, "doing some detective work on her."

"And what does this have anything to do with me?" Jenny replied.

"Well… if you help us and manage to reveal some dirt on Blair… she won't be queen for long anymore."

"_**- **_you want to dethrone Blair Waldorf? Seriously?" Jenny looked at them doubtingly. Blair wasn't one to mess with, everyone knew that. She was Queen Bee for reason.

"Nate Archibald seems to be trying to win her back, after they have _finally_ broken up. And as a queen it's easier to get what you want. You'll soon learn, little J."

"And you think I'd help you, why?"

Not, that she wouldn't want to be in favor with Penelope, but she wasn't stupid. Blair's minions had never been exactly friendly to her and she knew that the only reason she was still in their circle was, that Blair hadn't excluded her. Yet. Even if Blair had been… well, as Penelope had so eloquently worded it… _strange_ lately.

"You get your ticket to the top," she replied immediately. "And once we've graduated… I'm sure we'll be able to do something about choosing the next Queen."

"_**-**_ so what do you say?" Isabel chimed in eagerly.

"I'll think about it," Jenny replied, getting up, but then she reconsidered, "keep tracking Gossip Girl." She threw them a smile over her shoulder, before getting into the bus.

Penelope's eyes followed her, the corners of her mouth curling up to a satisfied smirk.

"Good work, girls. She knows something."

--

**Good morning, dear readers****. Gossip Girl here, with a small mystery in my hands. **

**Jenny Humphrey is spotted ****in the hallways of the St. Jude's, waiting for Nate Archibald. I'm sure there's something cooking. I'll keep an eye on this girl and keep you posted.**

**Until next time - You Know You Love Me.**

**--**

Jenny sighed. Not really, what she had wanted to be her first Gossip Girl post. She was so going down, if Blair ever found out, that she had told Nate about her and Chuck.

"Jenny, what are you doing here?"

She turned around to see Nate approaching her, looking a little stunned.

"Hey, Nate. Actually I was waiting for you," she said, a little uncomfortable.

"Oh… um, is something wrong?"

--

Chuck was standing outside the school, leaning against his limo and waiting for Eric, Serena and Blair, when someone suddenly shoved him on his back and trapped him against the limo.

When he saw, who it was, he gulped.

_Nate._

He immediately knew that his best friend had somehow gotten wind of him and Blair. Nate's face was distorted in hurt and anger and the confusion underneath it was clearly visible for Chuck.

"Did you sleep with her?" he yelled.

When Chuck didn't reply, he slammed him against the limo again.

"Look, I'd rather talk about this without your hands around my neck**_-_**" Chuck said placating, trying to calm him.

"Answer my question!" Nate demanded, but let up on him.

"I did," Chuck answered slowly, "but you two were broken up_**-**_"

"I don't care!" Nate shouted, cutting him off. "I don't care, if we were broken up or dating or anything, she was my _girlfriend**-**_"

"You didn't want her! You chose her _best friend_ over her!" Chuck's voice was now matching his.

He had known that it was going to happen, if he told Nate about him and Blair. It had been the reason he had wanted to wait before telling his best friend about them in the first place, waiting for things to cool down between Nate and Blair. But he wasn't going to take Nate's reproaches lying down, it wasn't his fault that Nate couldn't figure out, what he wanted.

"_**-**_ and I told you to go fuck her?" Nate yelled back.

"It wasn't like that, she was hurt, she _needed_ someone _**-**_ and I was there!"

The whole school had gathered in front of the school and was now watching them. People were taking out their cells hurriedly, taking photos and sending texts.

"Yeah, thanks for taking care of her," Nate scoffed, "You're the best."

"Nate_**-**_"

"Just stay the hell away from me, Chuck!" he spat. "The show is over!" he shouted at the students, before turning around and going back into the school.

Chuck watched him leaving with a queasy feeling.

_**--**_

**Looks like we'****ve found out, why B doesn't want N anymore. Losing your virginity to C must have been unforgettable indeed, but still. Eleanor must not have taught you very well, B.**

**And speaking of C, h****e almost sounded as if he has fallen for our Queen. I mean 'she needed someone and I was there'? Not really a typical Chuck Bass line. And losing your best friend over a girl? On which side of whose bed did you get up on, C?**

**I'****m dying to find out, what will happen next...**

**XOXO, Gossip Girl**

_**--  
**_

Blair's cell buzzed and she froze, when she saw the latest Gossip Girl post splayed all over the web.

_Losing your best friend over a girl?_

She couldn't believe, Gossip Girl had found out about her and Chuck. That bitch. She had to find Chuck.

Her heart broke, when she saw that Gossip Girl had also posted a video attachment under the post, and seeing Nate yelling at Chuck and pushing him away, when he ran after him, made it hundred times worse.

They were brothers. They had never had a single argument in their whole relationship.

She had such a clear picture of the two of them, rolling their eyes, while she and Serena had been having a fight over the new Versace dress. When Serena and she had made up, Blair had explained to them, that best friends did fight, that this was normal in such a long friendship.

Both Chuck and Nate had shaken their heads, scoffing.

"We would never fight," Chuck had told her and Nate had nodded.

Hurrying over the schoolyard, she saw Chuck lounging next to his limo, with the most disturbing look she had ever seen.

She didn't care if people were watching her; she rushed into his arms and hugged him tightly with no intention of letting go.

He hugged her right back, and she let out a relieved breath.

--

**Who knew, that Thursdays could be so eventful? **

**Blair and Chuck hugging in front of the school,**** for the whole world to see. Aw I do have to admit, that they do look cute, standing there, holding onto each other…**

**--**

The ride home was very quiet.

Blair's head was leaning his on his shoulder, her eyes closed, and her fingers intertwined with Chuck's, who was absently playing with her curls, but had yet to say something.

She decided to let him alone with questions for now, and just be there for him, because there wasn't really something she could do right now.

Finally the limo stopped in front of the Palace. He looked at her questioningly.

"I told Serena to ask Bart to excuse you; I thought you might need some time alone now." she explained.

He nodded gratefully.

"I'm just going get some of our stuff from the van der Bass home, okay?"

"Thank you." he whispered, leaning in and placing a soft kiss on her forehead before opening the door.

She watched him exiting the limo sadly.

_**--**_

"Blair? Here's someone to see you." Blair heard Lily's voice from downstairs.

"Who?" Blair asked, throwing a gown into her bag.

The door opened and in came… Nate.

_Damn Lily! She maybe even thought, she had done her a favor by letting him in._

"What are _you_ doing here?" Blair asked him coldly.

"We need to talk." He answered and closed the door behind him.

"There is no 'we', Nate. And if you think about it clearly, it's only your own fault." _Not Chuck's._

"Look, Blair. I've apologized in every way I could think of, I'm sorry for being so silly to not see, how truly amazing you are. I don't know how to ever make this okay again," he said ruefully.

"That's, because there is no way," she looked at him pityingly. He was so lost. A lost boy in a storm. He still didn't know what he wanted. Maybe he did want her today, but what about tomorrow, next week, or next month?

"You should go talk with Chuck, Nate, and try to put things straight. He's is your best friend. You two need each other. I have to go now."

"So we just end things like that?" He answered, ignoring her statement about Chuck.

"I didn't end things between us, Nate, you did!" she exclaimed indignantly.

"Then let's start over, for real this time." Nate insisted.

"You still don't get it, do you?" Blair shook her head. "I'm leaving." she turned away, walking out of the room.

How dare he to just come in like that and expecting her to take him back, after what he had done to her? She wasn't just an accessory to put on, when it suited his needs and throw to the side, when he got bored of it.

She snorted in disgust as the limo pulled off to the Palace.

_**--**_

To be continued

A/N: I want to thank everyone who reviewed the last chapter and a special thank you goes to **Kate** for commenting all of my chapters in one go, it was such a joy to read through them all, hun! _*****_kiss**_*_** A thank you also goes to **Chelle**, **Andrea**, **Sheri** and **Helena** for being lovely and cheering me up. Your PMs encouraged me so much. **_*_**hugs**_*_**

A huge thank you also goes to my friend **Kris**, who provided her amazing art skills and made me a gorgeous banner for this story (which you can admire at my profile page, the link is posted there :) in order to cheer me up. You are such a dear, sweetie! :)

It would be lovely if you could take a little of your time and leave a review, it encourages me a lot. Thanks for reading :)


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter ****11** of _This is Life_

"_Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life."**—** __Leo Buscaglia_

Author: Lily

Disclaimer: I do not own _Gossip Girl_ or any characters. Gossip Girl belongs to Cecily Ziegesar, Josh Schwartz, Stephanie Savage and the CW.

Summary: Post 1.10 **_—_** Takes place after Chuck sees Nate and Blair kissing. What would have happened, if Blair hadn't slept with Nate and Chuck would have apologized to her?

Rating: T / PG_**-**_15

Pairing: Chuck/Blair

A/N _**—**_ A special thanks to Anki for her BETA. **_*_**hugs**_*_**

_*****_

_"Change your thoughts and you change your world.__"_

_Norman Vincent Peale_

_*****_

Blair unlocked the door to Chuck's suite and opened it slowly.

Not a single light was turned on and the whole suite was dark. The door shut behind her and she set the bag she had with her and Chuck's stuff aside.

"Chuck?" she asked quietly.

He was lying in his bed, eyes opened and staring at the ceiling, still dressed in his school uniform. He hadn't noticed her coming in, nor had he heard her speaking.

"Chuck."

Blair walked to the bed slowly, and sitting down beside him, she started to take off her clothes until she was in her negligee and crawled up to him.

Chuck finally shook out of his reverie and looked up at her. When he met her gaze, he smiled a small smile that didn't reach his eyes. She returned it hesitantly.

"How are you?" Blair asked him worriedly.

He didn't answer at first; he just tucked her closer to him and put his arm around her.

"Okay," he finally answered, his voice raspy from excessive shouting.

She laid her head on his chest, listening to the steady beating of his heart.

"I'm sorry," she whispered after a moment, feelings of guilt overcoming her, "about Nate…"

"Don't be," he replied immediately. "I knew from the beginning what I was risking, that this could happen."

She looked up at him and their eyes met again.

"It's not your fault," he said, emphatic, seeing her doubting expression.

"Okay," she answered, but still not really believing his words.

He kissed the tip of her nose softly and she smiled, moving closer into his arms. Just the scent of him made her feel snug. It reminded her of her infancy, when all she had needed for comfort was to be in her father's arms.

Chuck was snoring faintly beside her and she lay there in the darkness, unable to fall asleep.

"I…I…" Sighing, Blair closed her eyes, ashamed of herself.

Blair Waldorf_, he's asleep. _Asleep_ for God's sake!_

_**--**_

**Good morning, Upper East Siders. ****Gossip Girl here, and today I'm serving an extraordinary dainty delicacy for breakfast.**

**Spotted: ****UES' new favourite couple arriving at school, hand in hand. What? You didn't know B and C aren't just friends ****with ****benefits anymore but a real couple? I apologize deeply for withholding such gossip, but sometimes the element of surprise makes it so much juicier.**

**So here's ****to officially crowning C and B as the new King and Queen of the Upper East Side. After all, a dark knight looks so much better next to our crazy bitch than boring Nate.**

**What do you say N? Hot or not?****  
****I'd say we have a new ****Lonely Boy****.**

**Until next time. You Know You Love Me.**

**Gossip Girl.**

_**--**_

Blair tried her best to ignore the looks that were thrown at her and Chuck and gripped his hand tighter. Feeling him squeezing her hand back, she turned to smile at him, when she noticed the reason.

Nate was making his way across the courtyard, his cell clenched in his hand, the knuckles almost white, and his annihilating gaze on Chuck.

It left a chill in the pit of her stomach and she gripped Chuck's hand even tighter. Nate's gaze met Blair's for a moment and she could see the hurt in his eyes. Then, he turned around and walked away.

_**--**_

"Serena!" Blair hasted after her friend.

Serena stopped, turning around as Blair took her arm, leading her into an empty corridor.

"Blair! I'm _so_ sorry about the blast… How are Chuck and Nate?"

"They're worse than we ever were," Blair answered truthfully, "but I actually wanted to ask you something. Did you tell Dan about me and Chuck?"

Serena stopped talking and her expression turned guilty. Blair saw through her best friend with ease.

"You did," Blair said slowly, gaping at her.

She couldn't believe it. Up until now, she had believed in Serena; thought that it could have been anyone, one of the thousands of prying gossip spies, but it had been her best friend. The realisation made her feel numb inside from disappointment and hurt.

Serena tried to soothe her. "Blair, I asked him for advice on how to tell Nate about you two…"

"You told Dan… and _he_ told his social_**-**_climbing sister, who…"

"He would have _never__**-**_"

"But Jenny would have!" Blair exclaimed.

"I can't believe you're blaming Jenny for this." Serena was looking at her disapprovingly.

"Jenny must have overheard what you two were discussing somehow and then sent that tip to Gossip Girl, hoping to dethrone me in the process to become the next queen. And at first, she went to smarm Nate, playing the innocent girl who just wants the best for him."

"You can't just offhandedly accuse Jenny, Blair, she would never do something like this to you!"

"I _know_ it was her. I just know it. She would do anything as long as there was something in it for her."

"She's not _you,_ Blair!" Serena exclaimed, leaving Blair staring at her best friend, aghast.

"I've got to meet Dan." Serena walked away, shaking her head.

_**--**_

"Jenny!"

Jenny stopped on her way to the steps and smiled precariously at Blair.

"Blair, how can I help you?" Jenny asked hesitantly, her voice shaking. Blair couldn't know that she had sent the blast to Gossip Girl, could she? It could have been anyone.

Blair smiled back at her sweetly.

"Why so shy now, Little J? Do you think I don't know that _you_ were the one who sent that blast to Gossip Girl _and_ told Nate about me and Chuck beforehand to gain his trust?"

_Oh, shit._

Did Jenny really think that she wouldn't have figured everything out? Even if she hadn't talked to Serena earlier, she would have found out eventually. No one had known about her relationship with Chuck except for Serena and she knew how much Serena trusted Dan. There weren't that many possibilities left.

Jenny gulped and attempted to retort with something clever, but found herself speechless.

"What? You're not even going to defend yourself?" Blair asked her derisively. "I'm just giving you fair warning to be careful from now on because I got the feeling you need to be taught your place," Blair said, almost a little deploringly. "You have no idea what you've done."

"Blair, I'm sorry_**-**_" Jenny tried to explain.

"I thought you were cleverer and knew not to mess with me."

And with that, Blair walked away, leaving Jenny standing alone on the street. Jenny watched the other girls coming out of the school. They followed Blair hastily, not even sparing a glance at her.

She looked after them stonily.

She wasn't going to go down without a fight.

_**--**_

Blair sighed.

The other girls were unnaturally quiet today. Looking around, she saw Serena and Dan sitting together at one table laughing.

Dan noticed her staring at them and nudged Serena lightly, who turned around. Blair looked away.

Serena didn't know that Blair had been right. Yet.

"Blair, look who is coming," Kati suddenly whispered excitedly. Looking in the direction Kati was pointing, she saw Nate making his way towards them.

_Not again._

"Excuse me." Blair got up hastily and rushed away.

Once she was out of the schoolyard, she let out a breath and leaned against the wall, closing her eyes for a moment only to be startled when she opened them again.

"Are you running out on me?" Nate's voice sounded next to her.

Since when had he become so insistent?

"You're not serious about this, are you?" he asked. When she didn't answer, he held up his cell and showed her the latest Gossip Girl blast.

A picture of her and Chuck._ New King and Queen of the UES, _she read.

"It wasn't me who wrote that. It was Gossip Girl," Blair replied innocently, feigning ignorance.

"Are you two together now?" Nate asked, scowling.

"Yes, we are."

"You can't seriously think I'm going to believe that you really like him Blair. I know you're just with him to make me jealous because you wanted revenge on me for sleeping with Serena. Now we're even, right?"

"Honestly, I don't care if you believe me or not Nate. I don't think I need to explain my relationship with Chuck to anyone else either, least of all you." Blair rolled her eyes. "And I wouldn't be so sure that you're even worthy of revenge. My feelings for Chuck don't concern anyone but me and him, so if you came to talk to me about this nonsense, you can just go," Blair said flippantly.

"Do you really think Chuck cares about you? His life consists of drugs, boozing, and womanizing. _You_ should know," Nate pressed further.

"How can you say this? He is your best friend!" Blair retorted, enraged.

"Exactly!" Nate raised his voice. "He was my best friend. _I_ know how he is. Women are just toys to him. He plays with them until he gets bored and then throws them away. I've seen enough women crawling out of his bed over the years to know. Eventually, you're just going to do the same_**-**_"

"That's not true," Blair said quietly, tears brimming in her eyes. How could he…?

"…and if you think he'll ever love you, you're wrong. He doesn't love _anyone_ except himself."

Blair flashed her eyes at him, still holding her tears back.

He had gone too far, he realised.

"Bl_**-**_"

"Don't - _ever_ talk to me again," Blair said with venom in her voice and if looks could kill, Nate was sure he would've already been buried six feet underground.

She walked back to the school, wiping her tears away furiously. Nate was just saying all those things about Chuck to win her back, she knew. But still…

_If you think he'll ever love you, you're wrong._

_**--**_

"Hey, gorgeous." Chuck came up behind Blair and wrapped his arms around her, resting his hands on her stomach and kissing her cheek softly.

"Chuck. What are you doing here?" Blair smiled and turned into his arms, sliding her hands down his chest.

He leaned forward and kissed her. "Just checking on you," She grinned against his lips. "I'm on my way to Bart's office."

"Oh!" Blair replied excitedly. "Is he going to talk to you about…"

"…the business deal, yes," Chuck finished, pressing his mouth to hers again. "See you at dinner?"

Blair nodded. "Good luck with Bart."

"Bye." Chuck gave her a quick kiss and smirked at her before walking to the doors.

Blair smiled after him and let out a happy sigh. Then, she turned back to her locker and noticed a little note pinned there. She took it with a frown.

_Blair, _

_I'm sorry.__ I know I shouldn't have said all those things to you. I'm not in the position to judge you two and if you are happy together, then I guess I should be happy too. _

_You were right. __Chuck is my best friend. Can you help me win him back? Seven at my place?_

_Nate_

_**--**_

To be continued

A/N: I have to apologize for the delay, (again;) but I've been on a little vacation and writer's block wasn't really helping. I want to thank everyone who left a review for the last chapter and I'm going to reply right now :) Oh, and I also want to extra thank Mel for her BETA on this chapter. Without your help this chapter wouldn't have turned out like this, I am sure. **_*_**hugglesquishiesyoutigthly**_*_**

So, what do you think? Comments? Suggestions? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter :)


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter ****12** of _This is Life_

"_Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life."**—** __Leo Buscaglia_

Author: Lily

Disclaimer: I do not own _Gossip Girl_ or any characters. Gossip Girl belongs to Cecily Ziegesar, Josh Schwartz, Stephanie Savage and the CW.

Summary: Post 1.10 **_—_** Takes place after Chuck sees Nate and Blair kissing. What would have happened, if Blair hadn't slept with Nate and Chuck would have apologized to her?

Rating: T / PG_**-**_15

Pairing: Chuck/Blair

A/N **_—_** A special thanks to Anki for her BETA. **_*_**hugs**_*_**

_*****_

"_That's the way things come clear. All of a __sudden__.  
And then you realize how obvious they've been all along.__"_

_Madeleine L'Engle_

_*****_

Nate sat on his couch, staring at the clock, hypnotised.

After his conversation with Blair, he had realised that her relationship with Chuck was indeed _**-**_ as silly as it sounded _**-**_ _real_. At least as real as his had been with Blair.

It had become clear to him that he wouldn't be able to win her back with just words and apologies. He had to do something. So, he plotted like Chuck had taught him all those years ago. He knew his plan would work.

He wasn't anxious about whether or not she would show up at his house. He knew Blair would come. Although she was always suspicious of people and cautious about trusting anyone, she usually chose to see the best in them.

Nate grinned. Had Chuck really thought that he could steal Blair away from him?

Blair was his.

Always had been, always would be.

_**--**_

_Chuck **–** I'm not coming for dinner 2day. Going 2 __Butter w/ the girls for revenge on little J. Good luck with Bart! I hope everything goes well. **–** B _

Chuck adjusted his bow**_-_**tie nervously. He had been working towards this very moment for over half a year now. No, even longer, considering the work he had done for _Victrola._

Knocking on Bart's door, he adjusted his bow**_-_**tie once more and waited with a thumping heart.

Finally he heard his father's voice. "Come in."

Chuck entered the office and his father looked up from his papers briefly.

"Charles. Sit down."

Chuck thought he had heard a small hint of benevolence in his father's usual frigid voice, but quickly pushed the thought into the back of his mind.

His father and benevolence? No.

"You've done good work on Mr. Chen," Bart announced, his voice shaking Chuck out of his thoughts.

Chuck looked at him expectantly.

"He's willing to let you be one of his… let's say _interns_ at his burlesque club, to see if your ideas are good and if a merger with _Victrola_, which is of course a part of the Bass Industries' investments, would be worth his time."

Bart was looking at Chuck proudly, something that Chuck had never experienced, and his chest swelled in response.

Bart cleared his throat and continued, "Now, Charles, I need to know if you really _want_ to be an intern at his burlesque_**-**_"

"Of course I do father," Chuck interjected immediately.

"I would have expected nothing less from you Charles."

Bart was now smiling at him haughtily and Chuck suddenly realized that he had never seen Bart smiling. Not once in his entire life.

He would nod politely or raise the ends of his mouth a little in public at times for interviews and pictures for newspapers, but he had never witnessed a real smile from his father. Until now. And the best part was that Bart was smiling at _him_.

"But you have to understand that Mr. Chen is extremely critical of his business partners. So, you'd have to temporarily, for the duration of the internship, stay in Bangkok.

Chuck started to say something, but Bart raised his hand to stop him.

"Yes, this would be a great business opportunity for us, but of course, I would understand if you needed some time to think about the offer, especially since you have school, your soon accruing SATs, and almost importantly, Blair. If you should decide to stay in New York, be assured that there will be someone else to represent you."

Chuck nodded in understanding.

"The plane leaves early in the morning tomorrow."

Chuck choked. "So… soon?"

Bart looked at him with scrutiny before he answered him with a single nod.

_**--**_

Blair hasted down the street to Nate's house, still feeling bad about lying to Chuck, but she was doing the right thing, wasn't she? She wanted them to be okay again so badly. After all, she had created this mess, so she should also be the one to set things right.

Right?

Looking up and down the street carefully to ensure that there were no gossip spies spying on her, she rushed to Nate's door and knocked.

Then, her paranoia took over and she turned around again. The street was deserted though, so she let out a sigh, turning back towards the door.

_Come on Nate. Hurry up._

Blair tapped her feet impatiently against the ground.

Finally, the door opened and Nate's face appeared. A glimmer of light lit up his handsome face and Blair would have noticed immediately, if she hadn't still been checking the street for gossip spies.

"Finally! Hurry before someone sees us." Blair pushed him into the house, closing the door swiftly behind them.

"You came." Nate smiled brightly.

"I knew you'd be clueless about how to make up with Chuck. You guys have never had a serious fight before." Blair shrugged her shoulders.

"Let's go into the living room and sit down," Nate suggested.

"Before we do this Nate," Blair stopped him, "You should know that I'm doing this for Chuck. _Only_ for Chuck."

Nate nodded seriously.

"Good. Because whatever happened between us is completely in the past now."

Nate nodded again. "Good. And I'm also only asking _you_ for help because you're the only one who knows Chuck as well as I do," Nate joked.

"Not bad Archibald," Blair retorted, obviously impressed with his response as she walked into the living room.

Nate stared after her, baffled.

"Are you coming?"

"Uh, yeah. I'm coming."

_**--**_

"So basically, all you have to do is apologize for the way you behaved when you found out about us because you now realise that you did indeed break up with me first and that none of this is his fault at all. And that…well… you just overreacted because you still had feelings for me," Blair said.

"Oh, and don't forget to mention that you know that he's always been there for me and that he really deserves me. That is important, okay?."

"Nate? Is something wrong?" Blair asked him in confusion when he just kept staring at her.

Nate eventually shook out of his reverie. "No, everything's fine. It's just… you're so beautiful."

Blair blushed when she saw him staring at her adoringly, his eyes shining brightly.

Nate was the guy who always gave such compliments like 'You look beautiful tonight.' and 'Pretty, as always.', but this time, she knew he was talking about her as a person and not how she looked.

"Nate…" Blair said warningly nonetheless. It wasn't Nate's place to tell her something like this anymore.

"Oh, sorry. Forget it." Nate replied hastily.

"But thank you," Blair answered politely and an awkward silence followed after that.

"I'm just… going… to the bathroom. I'll be right back, okay?"

Blair watched him get up and rush down the hall.

Nate exhaled deeply. His brief encounter with Blair had completely thrown him off course. It wasn't worth it to mess up things between Chuck and Blair. Whatever they had, it wasn't what Nate had thought it was.

_He__'s always been here for me._

Maybe Chuck _was_ better for Blair than him. He remembered the spark in Blair's eyes after Cotillion, how she was suddenly… lighter, happier. That had supposedly been after she had gotten together with Chuck. _He_ made her happy.

Nate sighed, taking his cell out of his pocket. He was on good terms with Blair now and soon, he would be with Chuck too if he really wanted to be.

"Jenny? It's Nate."

"Nate!" Jenny answered the call excitedly. "I have it! I…"

"Jenny, I've changed my mind. I don't want to do this."

Silence.

Then, she answered. "It's too late Nate. Gossip Girl is about to post it right now."

"What!? Jenny, I told you to wait! Why didn't you**_-_**"

But she had already cut off the connection. Nate cursed, turning around, only to see Blair standing there in the doorframe.

_**--**_

"Blair, wait."

"Let me go!" Blair wriggled her arm out of his grasp and hurried away, taking her coat and rushing towards the front door.

"Please, Blair…"

"Don't, Nate," Blair stopped him. "I _trusted_ you! I was helping you and all you wanted was to get your revenge on Chuck without thinking about how it would affect us. How could you?"

Nate looked down at the floor, not daring to meet her gaze.

"People always think you're the better person between the two of you, but…it's not true."

Nate looked up at her, shocked, but she didn't care to explain what she had said any further to him.

"Your plan worked. In no time, our cells will go off with the latest Gossip Girl post and Chuck's going to hate us both forever. Congratulations."

As Blair walked out the door, realisation hit Nate. Blair wasn't just _together_ with Chuck.

She _loved_ him.

_**--**_

"I can't believe Bart threw you a celebration party!" Eric said to Chuck, who was pouring him a scotch.

"Me either," Chuck smiled at one of the investors politely, who had just come over to congratulate him.

"Here." Chuck gave Eric the glass.

"And it's good?" Eric looked up to him doubtingly.

"How dare you Chuck!" Serena suddenly appeared seemingly out of nowhere and wrenched the glass out of Eric's hand, before he could find it out.

"Hey!" Eric exclaimed and Chuck looked at Serena in complete amusement.

"Has anyone seen Blair?"

Chuck rolled his eyes. "She's your best friend. Why don't you just call her?"

"We… I _**-**_ I'm asking _you_, Chuck!"

"Why don't we play a game?" Chuck grinned, taking out his vibrating cell.

Serena groaned. "Chuck, please just…"

Then her cell vibrated too. She frowned. Gossip Girl?

_1 new message._

Serena quickly opened it.

**Well, well, Upper East Siders. **

**Looks like we've found our Queen**** doing something... She was spotted at… **

**Oh, why ruin the surprise? See for yourselves.**

**XOXO**

Serena looked at Chuck worriedly and opened the video.

She saw Blair knocking on someone's door. What was wrong with that? Serena pressed forward and then realised exactly _what was wrong_. It was Nate's door.

Serena glanced at Chuck.

His jaw was clenched, his body was rigid, and the expression on his face was unreadable.

"Chuck…" Serena didn't know what to say. Should she comfort him? Tell him that Blair was probably just there to shout at Nate? Anything?

"What's wrong?" Eric asked, instantly regretting not having his cell with him.

Neither Serena nor Chuck said a word and Eric grabbed Serena's cell as Chuck stormed off to his room.

**_--_**

To be continued

A/N: Aw I think some of you are going to hate me now, but I just thought Jenny would never let Blair get away unscathed, no matter what dumby Nate thinks ;) Oh, and I think this fic will be finished soon, just a side note. A huge thank you to Mel for her ever helpful corrections. I don't know what I would do without you anymore. Yes, I am going to reply to the lovely reviews now you left me last time. La wee!

Let me hear your thoughts on this chappie, yes, yes? :)


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter ****13** of _This is Life_

"_Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life."****__**—**_ _Leo Buscaglia_

Author: Lily

Disclaimer: I do not own _Gossip Girl_ or any characters. Gossip Girl belongs to Cecily Ziegesar, Josh Schwartz, Stephanie Savage and the CW.

Summary: Post 1.10 _********__—_ Takes place after Chuck sees Nate and Blair kissing. What would have happened, if Blair hadn't slept with Nate and Chuck would have apologized to her?

Rating: T / PG_**-**_15

Pairing: Chuck/Blair

A/N _********__—_ A special thank you to Mel, for being ever helpful and again beta-ing this chappie for me. **_*_**kiss**_*_**

_*****_

"_Don't want to leave, but we both know sometimes it's better to go.  
You're in my heart, so until then, smile, don't want to cry saying goodbye."_

_*****_

Chuck stormed into his room and slammed the door shut loudly behind him.

He was pissed. Completely, utterly pissed, infuriated… and hurt.

He remembered the nagging feeling he had had in his stomach when Bart had told him that Mr. Chen had agreed to let him be an intern at his burlesque.

A lifetime of getting screwed over had taught Chuck that when something seemed to be too good to be true, it usually was.

But this time, he had really believed that all of it was possible, that things were about to change, that he would finally gain his father's approval, and that he would be surrounded by people who truly cared about him.

He had been a fool to think so. It turned out that he had been right all along.

_**--**_

Blair was taken aback by the amount of people in the Van der Bass house.

What was going on here?

Then, she remembered that Bart had talked to Chuck about the business proposal just a few hours ago. She assumed that everything had gone well.

"Blair! Why were you at Nate's house?" Blair heard Serena's voice and turned around, spotting her making her way to her through the crowd.

"I can't talk to you now, Serena," Blair said dismissively as she turned on her heels, hasting upstairs to the first floor.

She knocked on Chuck's door and when he didn't answer, she just opened it.

He was sitting on his bed, a scotch in his hand, and didn't pay her any attention. She walked over to him and took the glass from him, noticing with relief, that it was still full.

Sitting down beside him, she smoothed out the wrinkles in her dress, not knowing how to begin.

"Chuck…" she started softly, but was interrupted.

"Why did you lie to me?" Chuck enquired. The quiet way he said it _**-**_ the disappointment, the hurt clearly palpable _**-**_ made Blair feel incredibly ashamed.

"I… Nate tricked me into going to his place," she started to explain. "He and Jenny _**-**_ she made that video. I didn't do anything with him." Blair was determined to make this particular point clear.

Chuck finally raised his head to look into her eyes. "Did he ask you to go to his place before or after you sent me that message?" he repeated.

She bit her lip and looked at the ground. She knew she couldn't entirely blame it on Nate and Jenny. A part of what had happened was indeed her fault. Maybe she hadn't done anything with Nate, but she _had_ lied to Chuck.

She didn't answer, but her expression told him all he needed to know. He stood up abruptly, leaving her sitting on his bed, and walked towards the window, turning his back to her.

The way he remained silent was even worse than if Chuck would have fumed and shouted at her and Blair felt her throat constrict uncomfortably.

Then, he finally broke the silence.

"You know… the crazy thing is I actually believed that I would be enough for you," his voice was cold and rigid and made Blair's insides churn. "Even though I've known all along that the only one you'll ever truly love is Nathaniel; that you'd keep running back to him whenever he wanted you again."

"Chuck, that's not true," Blair said, tears welling up in her eyes. "I went to him because I wanted you two to be okay again. It had nothing to do with anything between me and Nate."

She could see him clenching his jaw.

"Nothing happened. We just talked." She said again.

"You know… If you still love him, maybe_**-**_"

"I should go back to him? You know what? Maybe I will, seeing as you don't trust me at all!"

Chuck's body turned rigid and she immediately regretted her words, but there was no taking them back now that they were out.

"Then go." Chuck urged, turning around and gesturing his arm towards the door. The pain in his eyes overwhelmed her and she couldn't meet his gaze.

"Fine!" Blair grabbed her bag and stood up from his bed, walking towards the door. She had already turned the door knob and was ready to go when she heard him sighing.

Blair turned back to him.

"Bart told me that they accepted my business proposal," he looked at her, his gaze hard.

_Why was he suddenly talking about this?_

"I figured as much." Blair answered, unconsciously walking back into the room.

"I actually wanted to discuss something with you, but I guess we don't need to do any talking after all." He stared at her.

_What…?_

"I'm moving to Bangkok tomorrow, early in the morning."

Blair couldn't comprehend what she had just heard; what he had just _said_.

"Bangkok?" She repeated, her voice quivering.

He had indicated something about moving away if his proposal would be accepted, but… He had already made his decision?

Blair felt tears stinging her eyes.

"This is so typical of you, Chuck; running away whenever a problem comes along! No wonder Bart never trusted you!" she returned, trying to mask her hurt and her disappointment.

"Actually, I already decided to leave _before_ I saw that Gossip Girl post about you and _Nathaniel_," Chuck spat out his name. She wanted to play this game with him? Fine, he'd play.

Blair was taken aback, but refused to back down. "You know what? I don't care. You can go wherever you'd like. As far as I'm concerned, you can go to hell!"

His face hardened and without sparing her a last glance, Chuck turned away, grabbed his coat, and headed for the door. He banged it behind him with such a fury that the entire room shuddered.

Blair sunk onto the bed, and burying her head in her hands, she finally gave into her emotions, and hot salty tears ran down her cheeks.

_**--**_

"Blair?" Serena peeked into Chuck's room concerned and when she saw her best friend sitting on the bed weeping, she quickly rushed over to her and took her into her arms, holding her tightly.

Tears kept flowing down Blair's cheeks as she leaned against Serena's shoulder, her body shaking from her silent sobs.

"Serena…we had a huge fight…"

"Shh…" Serena said softly, stroking her hair.

"Chuck is going to go to Bangkok tomorrow. What am I going to do?"

"We'll figure it out, Blair. I promise we will."

Eventually, Blair's tears stopped and Serena gently laid her on the bed. Blair had exhausted herself. She sat down on the bed beside her and squeezed her hand gently.

As much as she wanted to believe her own words, she had a feeling that Chuck's decision was final.

_**--**_

Blair woke up to the bright sunlight shining directly into her face. She yawned softly and wondered why her eyes felt so swollen and why she was in Chuck's room, lying in Chuck's be…

_Oh God._

She sat up swiftly and grabbed her cell phone from the nightstand to check the time.

_6__:42 am_

If there was any time to stop Chuck from going away, now would be her last chance.

But how? She had already told him everything the day before and it had just led to that stupid fight. She buried her head desperately in her hands.

"Blair?" She heard a knock on the door _**–**_ Chuck's door _**–**_ and looked up. Serena came in with a breakfast tablet.

Blair looked up at her quietly and opened her mouth, but couldn't think of anything to say.

"Blair…about Jenny…" Serena started hesitantly.

"Forget it," Blair took the tablet out of her hands, putting it aside.

Serena raised her head, surprised.

"What happened with Nate yesterday?" Serena asked carefully.

Blair looked into her best friend's concerned eyes and collected her thoughts.

"I went to Nate's house after school because he said he wanted to make up with Chuck and needed my help. I suspected something after he spent…_hours_ in the bathroom. And then I realised he and Jenny had tricked me. I just…I thought…I didn't…" Blair closed her eyes to stop the tears that threatened to fall again.

Serena reached out and wrapped her arms around Blair.

"I wanted them to be okay again, you know? Because I knew that it was all my fault…that they fought with each other."

"Then you did the right thing, didn't you?" Serena said encouragingly. "You just wanted the best for them."

Blair shook her head sadly. "You were right, Serena, when we talked about Jenny."

"But _**–**_ Jenny _did_ sent those posts…"

"No, I meant you were right about _me_. What happened yesterday just proves it. I was just being selfish once again. I…" Blair stopped for a moment and wiped her tears away.

"I didn't go there for Chuck or for Nate. I did it for me."

Serena looked at her, puzzled.

Blair sensed that she still hadn't understood her, so she continued.

"I thought Chuck would eventually realise that everything _was_ my fault and… hate me for making him lose his best friend. And I don't know what I would do without him," Blair looked up at her best friend, hurt written all over her face.

"I love him… _so_ much, S."

"Then fight for him, B. Where's the Blair Waldorf I grew up with?"

"I don't know. I… what should I say?"

"Tell him everything you just told me." Serena answered simply.

"I'm so afraid. I said horrible things to him yesterday. I would never forgive anyone for this."

"He wouldn't have risked his relationship with Nate if you didn't mean something to him, B. And if he didn't care about you, you two wouldn't have had that fight yesterday. Trust me."

_**--**_

Chuck checked his watch.

_7__:00 am_.

His plane took off at 8:30 am, so he still had time to drop by Blair's.

He sighed and wondered once again what the hell was wrong with him. _She_ had lied to him, met with Nate behind his back doing who knows what, and on top of that, had insulted him.

Why did _he_ feel so fucking guilty?

He strode over to the door when he heard someone knocking. His brows furrowed. No one ever _knocked_.

He opened the door.

Except…

"Nate."

_**--**_

_6__:15 am_

"Nate, where are you going? You haven't even had breakfast yet and school starts in less than two hours." Anne eyed her son, concerned.

"I have to go to Chuck's, mom," Nate replied, picking up his bag.

"Don't you want to have breakfast first, honey? He'll wait_**-**_"

"I don't think so. I'll see you after school." Nate said, giving her a peck on her cheek before exiting the house.

He had hardly slept last night as images of Chuck and Blair invading his mind. Blair running after Chuck desperately. Blair pleading Chuck to forgive her. Chuck pushing her away. Chuck walking away from her, pissed off. Blair crying in her room.

Nate took a deep breath to clear his head.

He did still love Blair very much. But how could he ever look at himself again after what he had done to her and Chuck?

She had been right about everything she had said.

They had already broken up when she and Chuck had gotten together. And he had also made it more than difficult for Chuck to confess his newfound relationship with Blair because of his constant 'Blair or Serena?' question.

It hadn't been right for Chuck to just go and sleep with Blair and then have a secret relationship behind his back, but people made mistakes; He should know.

After all, he had slept with Serena.

Blair had forgiven him for it. He just hoped she would forgive him again.

_**--**_

Blair looked out of the window concerned.

The taxi driver sensed her worries and was curious as to what was bothering her. "I'm familiar with that look on your face you know."

"Can you please mind your own business and concentrate on taking me to the Palace?" Blair shot him an icy glare to shut him up.

"No, really. I know what's the problem."

Blair raised her eyebrows sceptically.

"It can only be one of two things. Either your boyfriend cheated on you with your best friend or it was the other way around."

"Both," she said eventually as they arrived at the Palace.

The driver looked at her in shock, disbelief, and pity.

_Great. Blair Waldorf __was being pitied by a taxi driver._ Blair sighed and handed him the money, ready to get out.

"No, keep it. This ride's free."

"Well… thanks."

"Good luck," he saluted and drove off.

_**--**_

Blair's stomach grew nervous on her way to Chuck's. She still didn't know what to say, but she had to get through this. She bit her lip nervously and finally arrived on Chuck's floor.

Blair stepped out of the elevator just as Nate walked out of Chuck's room and took the stairs down. Neither of them saw the other.

Taking a last deep breath, she rang.

The door swung open and Chuck stood in the doorframe. Surprise was written over his face, but he covered it quickly and held the door open wordlessly.

Blair gulped and walked in.

"Chuck," she said quietly. "I'm… I'm so sorry. For what I did yesterday, what I said… I didn't mean it. Any of it. I was just… afraid."

He came closer, his face still unreadable.

"I didn't want you to hate me for making you lose your best friend… over a _girl_."

He was standing so close to her that she could feel his breath on her skin.

She looked up to him with her desperate, brown eyes and before he even realised what he was doing, he had raised his right hand and was caressing her cheek softly.

She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch.

Suddenly, he dropped his hand and Blair opened her eyes, looking at him in irritation, immediately feeling cold and exposed.

"Nate just told me everything."

"What…?"

Chuck sighed. "He still loves you."

"Well, I don't feel the same way." Blair said emphatically.

"He's still my best friend." Chuck replied softly.

Blair looked at him and tears began to form in her eyes. She blinked them away.

"Please don't leave," she whispered and her voice and her expression were so pleading that he felt his heart breaking.

"I _**–**_ Bart counts on me, _trusts_ me, for the first time in my entire life. I don't want to disappoint him."

Blair's upper lip was trembling and tears were beginning to cloud her vision.

"I just think that maybe we should take a break… figure things out. And… give you time to let you become clear about your own feelings about who you want."

"I know who I want," Blair said desperately. "I want _you_."

Chuck couldn't look into her eyes anymore and Blair opened her mouth to say more to make him stay, but stopped. She could hear the finality in his voice. He had already made his mind up.

"Blair…"

She sniffled.

"Don't cry."

"I don't want you to leave," Blair pleaded silently. "_Please_."

The doorbell rang and Chuck groaned, but went to answer it. A staff member came in, taking his packed stuff downstairs.

"Go ahead., I'm coming down in a minute," he said to Arthur.

Blair, sitting on his bed, felt him tucking his finger under her chin and lifting her head, so that she was looking into his eyes. He had sunken down to his knees in front of her.

And she knew she was already too late. It was too little too late.

"You'll come back, right?"

"I'll come back as soon as my business is finished there," Chuck assured.

"Promise me."

"I promise."

Blair cleared her throat. "Chuck, I…"

"Mr. Bass, we need to get going. The helipad arrives in ten minutes." Arthur appeared at the door again.

"One moment," Chuck ordered Arthur out and then turned back to her, waiting for her to finish the sentence. She didn't say anything and he kissed her on her forehead. "I'll miss you," he said and stroked her cheek softly, before getting up and walking out of the door.

"I love you." Blair whispered as a tear slipped out of her eye.

_**--**_

A/N: First of all, I am _so_ pissed that my internet connection got shut down for no reason, that's also, why it took me so long to get this chapter posted. I had to endure five days - five days! - without internet. I didn't even get the chance to read your reviews on the last chappie. **_*_**le sigh**_*_** But now I am finally in Paris (wee! :) and I've decided to take a break from everything anyway. Well, not an entire break since I have so many fics to catch up on an review, but I will take a little break from writing. No worries though, the next chappie _will_ be posted in less than two weeks ;)

A happy belated birthday to **ilovewaldass06**, I hope you celebrated it properly and got to spend it with your friends and family (& with lots of presents;)

Oh, and yes. Chuck is going away. No hurricane to stop the plane from flying, no accident, no nothing. Are you angry with me now? I just need Blair to realize how much Chuck really means to her and to figure out why Nate is so wrong for her. Okay, okay? :) I never thought that they had a proper break up in the show, not even in the second season, so this is why I am doing this.

Comments, thoughts, suggestions? I would love to hear it all :)


End file.
